I'm sorry Lord

Dear Lord God,

I love you.

There are countless ways that you have revealed your love for me. I know you will never stop blessing me until the end of my physical life. I know that you are and will keep blessing my family , loved ones, my friends and the little one..

Forgive me Lord for the negativity that I have been giving out. I'm sorry for feeling a lot of anger and hatred. I'm sorry for writing them down. I know I can not justify these things to You. I just want to let it all out before it bulge up into something bigger and with it, I may do something I might regret later on. I'm sorry dear Lord. On the other hand, I'm proud of myself because I've been able to replace these feelings of hatred, with love and happiness..effortlessly. I know that I am not about to stoop down to their pitiful levels. I hope that those people who are intentionally trying to hurt us, realize their flaws without having to read my blogs. May they feel sorry for themselves and start living virtuously. They are very bitter and jealous. I don't want to be around anywhere near them. I hope positive and nice people would not have to be with people like them. I pray Lord, that these ill-mannered people may learn the value of respect and decency.

You have created the perfect world for us to live in. This planet does not deserve all of our negativity and foulness. Forgive us Lord. We're sorry.

Rated PG

I feel like writing today. I have a lot in mind I want to talk about. But then, what am I doing.. my mouth goes.. blah.. blah.. blah.. but my mind says something else.. hmm..

I went home early today. My everyday itinerary shows otherwise. See, what happens is I get so accustomed to a particular habit and whenever I get very comfortable, I find it hard to change them.. I'm not saying it's impossible.. i did said it's hard.. Everyday I set my clock to 19:00 hours.. the tone of the alarm is from Beyonce's - Single Ladies.. I have gotten immune to the sound though.. so I miss the alarm everyday.. I wake up to the beat of my very carefree heart.. rushing my fat b*tt down the stairs.. dragging my still sleepy head into the bathroom and a lot hesitant to pour the water on my still warm body.. (yahks.. ang ginaw eh).. I then quickly grab anything I could find from the closet and throw on the bed those that I couldn't find comfortable to wear. If there's still 30 minutes on the clock, I two blocks from home to take the jeepney for work.. If there's 20 minutes, I could still find time to pick a nice taxi cab down the block and be able to blow dry my hair in the office.. If there's 15 minutes, I run like the wind and grab the nearest cab.. bring my toothbrush and comb my hair in the cab.. If there's 10 minutes left.. I'm in deep trouble.. Nine hours of work.. less the lates.. less the lunch and breaks.. less the over breaks.. less the avail times.. hay.. how could I do this to my work.. Why was I made this way? Yah.. blame it all on others.. hehe.. Sorry.. Joke lang po.. I know I could change.. I just need to be very.. hmm.. very.. dedicated? hmm.. I know I am.. I try to please people I talk to.. (no fair huh.. that's not even difficult for me).. hmm.. I guess.. I have to push myself further.. Be punctual.. whoever invented such word.. must be enjoying himself seeing me struggle.. troubled with the thought of how I could comply with it.. haha.. I know it's important.. I just have to find ways I could enjoy being early.. as the bird.. whoever said birds aren't late?? hooh! headache!

I was supposed to be watching the original Planet of the Apes, 1968 version. I was really looking forward to rekindling the very first times I remembered I was a flick addict.. haay.. good old days.. good old lazy days.. I miss procrastinating.. I miss hanging out with my good friends doing nothing but think about "hmm.. anu kayang magandang gawin.." haay.. those good old days.. nothing compares to those idle moments.. times when you couldn't give a d*mn about what others are doing.. or thinking.. when people don't talk about you.. cos nobody's around to blab about your whereabouts.. cos everyone is too busy to mind you.. only the parents nags.. and it doesn't matter.. cos they're gonna do it again tomorrow and your ears memorized everything it heard.. you could just compose a song about how they consistently nag you.. the good thing is.. they don't hurt.. as much as gossips.. Anyway.. I really couldn't care. I've had worse than gossips.. These little things couldn't kill me.. I started giving everyone the benefit of the doubt a long time ago anyway.. There are people that I just don't stand a chance with.. Those who are the pretenders.. the ones who trick people.. Those I couldn't really figure out.. to h*ll with them..

Happy place..

Happy thoughts..

Okay...........................

Earlier, I was feeling a bit sick. I didn't feel like going to work. I was a bit floating and a bit troubled about what I have been doing to myself lately. An alter-ego was playing its part with my rarely appreciated self. See.. I've recently had a very exciting getaway lately.. My friend and I went to Puerto Galera the last weekend. I've spent my weekend expanding my knowledge and opening up to a whole new world of escapades. Hmmm.. CJ, is a friend from work.. She's like my best gal friend in the office. Twas fun having her around while I was really drunk and sleepy.. hehe.. I've spent the day with a very special person.. One whom I felt really comfortable with.. someone who's behind me lately.. Someone whom if I couldn't even see.. I thought.. would still be there..

"..would it be wrong to look in the eyes, see them stare.. see right through them.. the little grin.. they rocked my world.. turned me around.."

..sounding a bit sexual am I not? hehe.. totally not sounding.. let's just say.. I'm a new soul.. a bit hardcore and wild on the outside at times.. but still soft in the inside.. sometimes I wonder.. should everything be superficial.. there's more to life than what meets the eye.. but if the eyes makes one feel for the heart.. then.. could the eyes make life beat as how one sees everything.. another shallow thought from someone confused about what the world is throwing at her.

I really couldn't figure out myself right now.. could anyone help me clear things.. I'm so not aware of where I currently am. To sum it all up.. I guess.. everything is reciprocated in a way.. the heart plays it's part.. the eyes does too.. It's all a matter of how the mind balances everything..

Could it be.. hmm.. I wonder..

Gonna rest my eyes a bit.. Let the body talk.. We'll figure this out..

My Very Own Twilight Story

"I sTiLL dReAm oF a fAirYtaLe eNdiNg.. bUt wHaT I wAnT iS nOt A pRinCe cHarMinG wiTh a miGhty sWord nOr A kNighT oN a dAsHiNg wHiTe hOrSe.. bUt a VaMpirE.. wHo gOt oFf fRom eiThEr A sHinIng siLvEr VoLvo.. oR a TaXi cAb.. -RoAn- ♥/♥"

I just finished watching Twilight. Perfect movie that defines how I love. You know how the movie mentioned.. When vampires start to fall in love..They never fall out of it. That is how I am. I love, forever.. And I can not wait to find someone whom I could share this strong emotions with. I tend to be very clingy and protective of the one I love. I want someone just like Eward Anthony Masen Cullen.. for I can be the Isabella Marie Swan who will want to be with that person for eternity.. up to the point of losing everything I own.. Even become someone I am not supposed to.. so just to be with my other half.. the one who would complete me..

Call me dreamy and stupid.. I don't care.. I thought that person came. But I was wrong.. The heart belongs to someone else.. I'm being unfair to myself.. And it's hurting my friends.. My family doesn't know.. I'm sorry dear ones.. But I could not control who this heart would pick.. I never forced myself to fall.. I just did.. And as much as I wanted to opt out of this.. I don't know how.. I'm far too scared.. I asked God to cut the cord.. But somehow.. He wouldn't..

My head is aching.. and I don't want to be sick.. I'm scared to learn the truth.. I'm shaking.. I don't want to let go.. But I have to.. I wanted to be happy with her.. But God is making it difficult for me.. The more I fight it.. The more it hurts..

When will my VaMpiRe come.. Rescue me soon.. Take a bite..

You probably don't know it yet.. But here's why you'll miss me..

A normal girl would say...I love you so much...
Roan would say.. I love you more than my life..

A normal girl would say...Bye.. Take care
Roan would say.. Hurry back to me..

A normal girl would say...I can find someone better...
Roan would say.. No one will ever come close..

A normal girl would say...No one will love you like I would...
Roan would say.. There's none that I'd rather love but you..

A normal girl would say...I miss you...
Roan would say.. You've taken half of myself with you..

A normal girl would say...I want to be part of your life...
Roan would say.. You are my life now..

A normal girl would say...Don't leave me...
Roan would say.. I wont ever leave you..

I will wait for you my very own version of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen..

and i know when it's real

i'm dEfiniteLy a sUcker fOr somEone so cRazy aboUt mE

Scorpion Bite

I was stung by a scorpion nung Saturday while nagsh-shopping kami ni Eri sa Cartimar. I checked out this shoe..eh meron pa shang newspaper inside..kaya tinangal ko. Eh meron pang isa sa dulo sa loob..dinukot ko..ayun..dale! Tagos ang pagkaka tusok sa middle finger ko. Ang tinde ng sakit! Gusto kong umiyak but I have no strength to. Mahilo-hilo ko sa sakit. Blood was all over the floor at talagang pinipisat ni Eri ung finger ko hanggang wala ng blood na lumabas, kaso, tuloy tuloy pa rin yung blood. Mejo malaki kasi yung scorpion. kasing haba siguro ng isang Nokia 8210..la kasi ako maisip na comparison eh. Yup, malaki nga sha. I was then brought to the nearest hospital which is Pasay General Hospital. Nurses attended to me immediately. They asked some questions na nasasagot ko pa kahit namimilipit na ko sa sakit, until nahilo na ko ng tuluyan. They got me a wheelchair. Oh, diba? OA na? But honestly, that’s what happened. Umabot na kasi sa shoulders ko yung pain. Ganun kasakit. They injected me with something twice sa knuckles ng middle finger ko. May konti akong naramdaman but it was worth it kasi mas matindi yung sakit ng sting, and eventually, nabawasan yung pain. Nawala lalo yung pain nung narealize ko na we were in the ER at ma-spot naming ni Eri ang isang guy na sabi pa..

“Doc, may saksak po ako..eto oh..”

He lifted up his shirt at kitang kita naming yung wound na parang hiniwa ng blade na may blood sa loob. I wanted to run out from the hospital pero sabi nung nurse sakin. I-wash ko daw muna yung sting. Oh edi sige! Tapos pag punta naming ni Eri ng sink, grabe naman ang blood doon na nag clog pa. Ay Caramba! Kahit mahilo hilo pa ko, I washed my hands looking up the ceiling, then hurried out sa benches. Lumapit na si doc na di ko man lang nakuha yung name. Balik daw pag may problems.

Thanks doctor.

Ayun, umalis na kami. We even had time to eat sa Greenich.

Hay..What a weekend that was for me. And you know what? Before that awful day, I was having LBM pa. I’m a little bit dry na from all the water discarding my body is doing.l I can’t drink H2O kasi I will run sa CR afterwards. Haay..kawawa naman ang baby. Dami ko pa pimples from puyat. Nevertheless..dami pa rin nag mamahal sakin in spite of my misery. Nakakatawa lang mga nangyari sakin this weekend. And besides, there’s a lot more things I should be thankful for diba? Like the other day..sobrang kati ng likod ko pati ng tummy ko. Hala..nung kinamot ko..kakaibang satisfaction ang naramdaman ko. I thank God for the wonderful feeling scratching an itch give. I thank God for yawning and stretching and a goodnight sleep. I thank God for laughter. I thank God for my life and the continuous comfort and protection He gives my family, Eri and people I care about everyday.

Thank you Lord..for everything. I love you.

A couple of tests results

You're a Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is all about following your urges You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ENFP)

Your personality type is enthusiastic, giving, cautious, and loyal. Only about 8% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 6% of all men You are Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

Your Passion is Purple!

You've got a ton of passion, but you don't always wear it on your sleeve. If something truly excites you, you let your inner intensity shine through. But otherwise, your passion tends to morph into energy ... which you never lack. You're a balanced woman, knowing when to turn on the fire in your heart.

***That is me we're talking about..yeah! Cute psych test I found browsing the net. Took some of them and I just couldn't stop. Posted the answers, as if some would actually care bout them. Take em too fellas. http://www.blogthings.com/

I'm addicted to videoke

***I love to sing-along. Minsan sablay, minsan naman..dale! Overall..it's all good.

On my sidebar, I posted a list of some of the songs I surely love to sing..bwahaha! Sing with me! Just right click on the song and then select open in new window.

I enjoy being goofy. I love to be happy and have fun. I'm not that great a singer, frustrated somehow. Baket ba? Human rights dude. I have the right to sing and you have the right to listen.. or probably..stuff cotton in your ears otherwise. Ah basta.. I love videoke! =p

Things you should know about me

Inebriated by you...................

***Found this on youtube..it's so nice and it makes me feel so euphoric. I don't know if that is the actual words to describe how I feel watching this. The pictures, the song..it makes everything so perfect.. As if, I'm looking at forever.. haaay.. I think I'm crazy..anyway, I just love everything about this clip.

mine is..Scooby Doo

***Everybody seems to be addicted to some sort of cartoon character, and they would go like..

"aaaayyy! Barbie!! Favorite ko yan!!!"

Yah! I know,she's probably the most popular diba and the most glamorous? Although, it is becoming a little frustrating for some kasi, sometimes yung iba..hindi naman talaga nila gusto and they are just influenced by people na uber fanatics ng mga ito..in a way nakiki-like na lang din sila..sana they would be attached to something they are really into.. tuloy kasi..nawawala yung value ng isang bagay pag nakiki-lang yung iba diba? And sometimes yung pag ka like pa tends to over act na.. (sorry po). I do, have to give credit naman kay Barbie because she's beautiful naman talaga..and the pink? Really girlie and pretty..not nga lang the type I usually go after. Maybe when I was younger..okay I confess..I was at some point..inlove with Barbie dolls.

Some naman are very Mickey Mouse oriented..they would go on every corner of the mall ma-spot lang yung favorite Mickey stuff nila..kahit they would not even buy them. Galing ng dedication no? It's great that people divulge admiration on stuff like these. A little bit frustrating lang cos, you may find a lot of imitations na. Okay sana kung identical na identical and you won't be able to tell the difference..(teka.. hindi rin ata tama yun).. It's funny kasi looking at some, cos hindi talaga kamukha ng Disney characters na original.. parang hindi sila yun.. I don't mean this as an insult, pero nakaka tawa naman talaga diba..(sorry po sa mga nag hahanap buhay lang).. But the status is why you are purchasing them in the first place, right? What I was pertaining to is the Originality. Now, what happens is, when you spot something as such..the first thing that would pop out your mind na is.. "Original ba yahn??!"

I know..these stuff really hurts..sorry na nga po! I was not really going for a reproach within my blog. All I wanted to say is that I know a lot of great stuff with great quality and reasonable prices.. original pa! Like yung bed sheets sa taas na Mickey Mouse.. Did you know that the only licensed distributor of Disney original bedsheets and comforters here in the country is Canadian Bed Linens? Pati po Barbie, Loony Tunes, and Winnie the Pooh for girls, while Hot Wheels, NBA and WWE for boys naman. As to what I know, sa mga leading malls sila nag didistribute. Ang c-cute nga ng mga designs nila eh. Even if patay na patay ako sa isang drooly dog na brown jan..I fancy comforters na ganito ka gaganda and ka lalambot..especially this rainy season.. Hmmm..sarap mag snuggle sa loob.. So what do you say? Galing noh?

check out http://www.canadianbeddings.com/

The one where I was late..again

***A couple of minutes ago, I was feeling a little bummed, cos I was late and I was given a written warning..weeehh..I'm so0o0o0h scared? Like I couldn't live a day without a job? huh! I've been cooling my heels for a long time..and was quite enjoying every moment of it. It's like I'm trained for nothing. That is what I am extremely good at! So don't even try to frighten me with some stupid written warnings!

No, seriously..I was so scared..terrified even. Why is that? Maybe because I was late for three consecutive days without any abiso. I am so much loving this life. Where else can I find a much more perfect job for me than this? Something that compromises my every whim. One where I am paid for doing nothing, but smile and be pretty..(kidding)..I mean, this job is a great start for me.

Kasi naman eh! I am trying to change my daily habits..but it seems that my procrastination always has a way with me. I can't keep doing things like these. I'm such an anile young girl. Acting as if I have a 50 ton weight of ass.. I mean mass..Can't lift up my booh-tey every time I wake up in the morning...... Now, that I'm thinking bout it..it's so nice to sleep all day, especially whenever it is raining outside and the pillow is so soft and cuddly..and there's a silky sheet beneath my feet..aaww..how I envy hibernating animals..They would eat what they can.. sleep anytime they want to..and wake up whenever they feel like it..

NOOOOHH!!

Got to snap out of it. Can't be like this forever dear. I know life is beautiful and sleeping is so0o0o0ohuhuh go0o0d..but you'll get there..we'll all get there! You know..the eternal REST! huh!? Every sleeper's dream!! Where..Nothing! No one can ever wake us up! Not ever.. oh God.. I'm right. That was just off the top of my head..yaiyks!! I made such a perfectly smart and..scary sense just now..

So all I have to do is..think! Whenever I am asleep..I am dead! And I can't be dead that long. I have to be alive and I have to live. Or else I will be dead in a couple more minutes and by the time I rise from my death..I may have missed a lot of things..Including my job. I can't die all the time.. haah!! Stop making sense already!

I just got to put my mind to it then.....breathe in..(actually breathe)..breathe out..hmmm..(actually breathe out) haay..

WAKE UP EARLY!

KEEP TRACK OF THE TIME!!

DON'T BE LATE!!

..please Roan!! Please lang!! Gumising ka ng maaga!!

I love kitties!

***I love all sort of living creatures, except maybe, things that has more than two pairs of feet. I don't like crawling things, I can't like insects especially when they fly or when they are squished..yiehk! And that is why I just leave them alone and let them crawl, just..not on my skin okay? And don't fly around little insects. Never squish them..yiehk two tops!

In short, I prefer mammals. Cats in particular..Caught the following kitties, Googling around. (those two above are mine..) Check em out..hehe:

Cute Costume..love the hat..love the faceCrocodile tears..haha!Stick em upWho wants a cup of kitten?Let it out! I feel sorry for it.. A little nauseated after some punches, I presume..
Little buggerHere's another picture of a kittie..with a dog..aint it cute?
Woah..what is it? I think this one is a dog..no it's a cat..wait..i think it's a breed from both..hehelast but not the least..something from my room..hehe

Feel beautiful within

***Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am a movie freak, I care about animals, I love to eat seafood (except fish), I am an idealist, can be pretty honest, really amiable and in my mid twenties. Most of the time, I don't really care about my image. I often let my hair fall anywhere it does. I put on clothes that I am just comfortable wearing. I don't carry a lot of stuff when I go out, just as long as the clothes I am wearing has pockets for money and my phone. I don't wear a lot of make up. Just a lip color and some powder, maybe a little mascara..and I'm all set (except when I take pictures..I tend to go a little crazy). I value good manners and proper etiquette. I have cool friends. God loves me and my family is perfect. I don't like fights and arguments. I can be pretty messy if my family is involved or the people that I care about. I'm one tough cookie.

These are a bit about me. Can't really complain huh? But lately I've been up and down with how I feel about my personality. I have been trying to convince myself that I am a good person, but I haven't really caught some proof of that. Sure I pray a lot but that doesn't make me a saint. Not that I want to be a saint or something. I just want to be acknowledged in my own goodness per se.

Let me give you a clip from my all-time favorite movie:

Edward: "You could be so much more."
Vivian: "People put you down enough, you start to believe it."
Edward: "I think you are a very bright, very special woman."
Vivian Ward: "The bad stuff is easier to believe..you ever notice that?"
Roan: "DON'T BELIEVE THEM VIVIAN!"

A lot of people may talk negatively about me. I don't really care. But whenever I think of how I am continuously making amendments within myself to be a good person for others, some are doing exactly the opposite (which is persistently trying to make me look bad), makes me want to throw up and say.. "Why bother?"

Maybe a lot is angry at me because I have hurt them. Maybe I am a bad person. But you know what? I don't want to be bad! I try my hardest to please people. I can even be a pushover! I have not hurt people intentionally. Well, I may have had. You know how people literally "ask for it"? I don't know. They probably did that to themselves, unconsciously. I know that people often insult out of improper anger or jealousy, and people who continuously perfect these insults, grow old and fugly.

And another thing, it's not like I go around places intentionally hurting other people, you know. Its not like I have my victims or something. I know I'm not all bad. I know I have a great character in me and I’m trying to find my beauty from within, rather than from everyone else's point of view. I figured, no matter how many times somebody tells me I’m beautiful and this and that, none of it will really matter until I believe so myself. I have to feel beautiful on the inside so that things can really make a lot of difference in my life and my self-confidence.

Granted, there are mean and kniving people around me, but here is what I have learned so far off the top of my head:

1. The best revenge is for others to see how they have failed making you feel less about yourself and letting them find out how successful you have become in spite of their constant bugging you.
2. Don't be superficial. I should not be caught up in society's perception of what beautiful is.
3. Never be envious of others, in fact, let them be envious of me. Rid all of the possible insecurities. Try to avoid comparing one's self with others.
4. Understand that everybody makes mistakes..including smart, pretty sexy little me (he-he, no mistake about the latter).
5. Be humble Miss! Humility takes a lot of courage and wisdom. It can help one be more content with one's life, can also help endure bad times and improve relationships with others.
6. Laugh more! Even at myself. Read funny jokes, quotes and stories too. Cheer others too.
7. Learn to sincerely accept others for who they are so they may sincerely accept you too
8. Be proud of your goodness. Don't change the beautiful person that you are just because people think you suck. However, if you must change, change for the better
9. Make a list and try to develop and enhance special talents.
10. Object once in a while. People often abuse others' silence. Fight for the ones you love once in a while. If it helps, defer with their mediocrity but in a courteous manner.
11. Have a strong point. Don't just yap and yap, stand up for what you beilieve in. They'd be too embarrassed to even argue. They'd either be more furious or will just love you.
12. Be smarter. Don't think you know it all! Be open-minded enough to seek out new knowledge. Besides, learning is fun.
13. Protect yourself. Give the benefit of the doubt. Be a great judge of character. Don't over do it though.
14. Be honest to yourself. Don't live in a fantasy where everything is is either good or bad. Balance everything. Be positive though.

That's about it for now. I'm gonna have to appreciate every single detail in my face, body and soul. Look in the mirror, look at others. I don't look like them, they don't look like me. I'm unique. No one else looks like me, the one and only amazing Roan!

I love who I am! And if people can't deal with this, then that makes me even more proud of my self.

The one that I wrote in my notebook

***I own a lot of notepads at home. Every single one is filled up with entries that is of no importance to many. But that is me. I love to write. I am a freak who like to remember everything I have thought about. Yuks! Is it even normal? I believe so..

Being a freak is really complicated. Okay if I am a freak..so is everyone else! Hmph..I would like to think of myself as a unique individual with a better perception in life than most people. A person who has established a perfect world in her mind..clearly justifying my freakiness.. I just think that I really have great thoughts..and I find it very difficult to match my great mind to my actions and the way I speak. I always come up with great plans, jokes, kindness, beautiful things.. Only, things don’t come out right or how I would have imagined it to be. I have a really weak mind and whatever coordination..(mind&body..mind&feet).. My mind often does all the assignment but seems to forget to have it submitted to the teacher. Maybe this was from the concussion I endured when I was six..no I think I was seven..Oh, God..How do I resolve this then? My memory is really killing me. That is why I want to write things down and hope some time in the future, I may understand myself...and others may see that I'm really sweet and kind and hot..haha! And by hot, I meant funny, seriously...nothing is wrong with me.. I just care too much and I pay a lot of attention to others' stupid innuendos. I care too much about how others would feel. I believe people so easily, which makes it hard for me to distinguish the sincere ones from the not. I often get caught in a trap where people gets to ravage me and do pretty much all the mean things they wish to do, while I cry helplessly (and look so sexy whenever I do, by the way)

This has got to stop..I have to be rough! Mean! I want to be a bad-ass! A browbeat! The Bully! The devil who wears Prada..in my case..Landmark Shoes..This is a dog eat dog world! The survival of the fittest and I have to..

Wait..Who am I kidding..I can't be that pathetic. Its nicer to be at a place where everybody is at a raucous while I stay serene, pretty, happy and really GAY..

Doesn't matter how I am. I'm a resilient baby girl. I pity those who underestimate me. They are quite missing out a lot. I have so much to give, and I know that if they knew the whole lot of me..they'd be begging for more.

So, enough of the riddles and enigmas, I don't really know what I am talking about. As I told you before..I just write whatever comes out of my mind..I don't know what I just said..or maybe I do..

It doesn't matter..

I ROCK!!

(grin)

Don't you just love today?

***Aren't you glad you are alive today. I sure am. All the worries of yesterday has passed away. Can we start over? Today is a brand new day.

It's Friday and I am feeling really happy. Yesterday, my Kwikz (a term of endearment my partner and I share..so is Quickie, BabyLove, Pa & Ma and a lot more..) went over the house to spend a little time with me, since it's our 73rd month anniversary. For a gift, I wrote a poem and I spent the whole day furnishing it and really making it..just great. I wrote it in a card, and I have to tell you, I am good writing stuff like that. I gave the card and we had a little chat. We snuggled. Two of our friends were there and they didn't care about what immorality we were displaying..hehe. They were just there, hanging out with us. The poem was highly appreciated by the way, thanked me, kissed me..but then, we had to cut our moments short because there's still Friday's work. My kwikz had to go home, but over all, I had a good night sleep, which is why I am happy today.

This morning, I woke up and I was dreaming about a billion things..good things. I gathered all the strength I need to get off the bed..and when I looked out the window, I saw a cat. A male cat that looked like someone famous. Filled with positivity and happiness, I talked to the cat and told him..

"Oh! Ikaw?! Bakit kamukha mo si Charlie Chaplin ha?!"

It has a weird fur between its nose and mouth, shaped like a beard and a hat to complete the outfit. I don't mean like it's wearing an actual hat but the hair and ears are shaded black in a figure of a hat. Yah, I'm sure. Isn't it weird? haha! It's true! I did saw a cat looking like that!

I have like, the most wildest imaginations and I think I'm funny, and I like being happy. It's so sad how others live their lives making others feel miserable, when everybody deserves the smallest..slightest amount of happiness in the world. Why would some, deprive them of that right? Maybe because they are miserable in their own. I feel sorry for them.

Have you thought about what made you happy today? I hope this blog did.

Roan

The one where I can't open my blog

***This was something I wrote in the word prosessor. It was meant to be for last JUNE 19. So..here goes..

Where is my blog site? I can’t seem to open my page. (Eventually, I did.) I need some serious thoughts writing now! Pronto! Anyway, I slept late this morning(06.19.08)..at around 5 am. My partner and I had some argument over text messages and I was unable to let myself be heard enough, but seriously, I don’t think that was the problem. I know I made myself perfectly clear; the receiving end seemingly doesn’t want to hear me out. It’s just so unfair every time people do that. It makes me want to roll my eyes all over the place. Haaiy..what can I do? I love the the person very much. What am I complaining about then? I’ve been in this roller coaster ride for six fascinating years now, and by the way..I love roller coaster rides..literally. I think I can handle six more..and more..times a lifetime..

A poem for my life

It's crazy and I think it's a crime,
For unknowingly hurting me most of the time.

You give me countless headaches, pain and nausea,
It's either I cry or get amnesia.

I say crazy rhyming words and it's utterly funny,
I don't really care because I'm extremely yummy.

I just can't understand why we still fight all the time after six magical years.
I'm not anxious to brag that we shared rivers of tears. Quickie, you've forgotten to be sweet and you know it,
But I LOVE YOU and I'm overlooking this a bit.

You are my life and I just can't live without you,
No one could understand unless they live in my shoe.

We are a match made for goodness and it's all according to plan.

We are one tough team to beat, you and me, you know.. Len and Roan.

I know YOU LOVE ME TOO and you are really trying really hard,
To please and satisfy me even when I act like a retard.

Oh, but I'll never let you go my Love, my Life and my Soulmate,
For you are my KNIGHT with a shining armor plate.

I will be yours within this lifetime and until death and the afterlife and over again,

So please share with me, this one big FOR ETERNITY Chain.

I really am..inlove with you Quickie.

My very own THEORY

***I have established a theory in my mind and I am typing it down right now. Let me call it, "The Art Of Hurting Someone". Everybody is capable of hurting anybody, be it intentional or not. And I have to tell you...there is no easy way to do it, unless the person is that cursed and really can't help it doing it. So, in my opinion. One should learn my theory. An action inevitable but can be really perfected, be an innate ability and may be life changing, but in all good sense. (God,I hope I'm making my point).

Here's how you try to do it. Think of an act of hurting someone wherein you practice the kind that hurts so good. The kind of hurt you let others feel which will may make them so0oh sexy when they cry. The kind of hurt that would make others realize they are better than who they are. The kind of hurt that brings us closer to God. And a lot more of that kind.

Be careful who you hurt though. You might do these for the wrong reasons. They might hurt you back...and more. Some may never understand. You might not be able to handle the pain they may give you back. Some people are really capable of doing just that, only, they chose not to. Unless you really want them to hurt you, the only way is to provoke them, but you won't..because..it could be your last..you know..thing to do, unless you want it to be..

Think of the people whom you might have hurt and people who possibly, may have hurt you. This theory could be your ticket to redemption. Now..Go! You know what to do. I just hope you do the right one though..if not, then do that stupid things you always do anyway which is to "always think you are right"..

As for me...I know where I stand. Good luck to you.

One Crazy weekend

***My friends and I went out for a heavy drinking spree last Saturday. We went to Malate. Oh, we were in an place full of Emos and Rockers, whom I respect by the way, the only contradiction I may share is that they dress far more differently from the way my friends and I do..and also, there are some more scary looking fellas within the area, as if they were keeping knives somewhere in their body. I know it is not fair for me to judge by the book, because not every seemingly dangerous looking felonies...could be who I think they may be, in fact, many a backstabber could be dressed as a very dear friend...unknowingly destroying your reputation and so much overflowing with insecurities..eventually, acting so pathetically lame and coming up with poor lines such as "I'm just being civil..nyeh-nyeh.." when in fact they clearly do not know the proper usage of such words. They should try using "I'm just a fake person making them believe I am their friend because I don't want them saying anything bad about me". Do you get where I am going at?? I'm sorry if you are sensing a little hostility from me today...I have a little cold and not feeling very good at the moment...so please, bear with me.

Honestly, I just want to tell you readers, that we should not be TOO superficial okay. It's okay to be cautious every now and then, but please, keep the judgement all to yourself. Make sure it doesn't show in the face and when you have gotten to know the person, try learning about trust. As for me, I just want to keep, protect and treasure the people I love and care for...and that is about it for now.

Anyhow, back to my story. There was a very evil girl who acted so cheap and I would enjoy calling fat because she has played her ill manners card, is really huge and obviously brought up wrongly by her parents...(lucky for me, I have the grandest parents..thank God). I should stop boasting, for some of my "civil friends" might get happy for me again (note:SARCASM). Again, back to the story..this girl kept knocking and knocking on the door as if we were in there for hours but the fact is they were walking behind us and saw us came in...talk about their intent to trigger the bomb right? Being a little kind and polite, we asked them nicely why they had to knock that way, told them that it made us uncomfortable and clearly, that act? it was provoking us...we told her to either stop pissing us off or tell us who did it..I remember perfectly how she said she did not do it but there was the voice...her big voice saying "HOOOYYY...BILISAN NYO!!" and no two people in the same tiny space at the same unbelievable time could have that same voice because it is gonna be really weird and freaky.. she said more mean things to us first and after a few exchange of words, she got tired of talking and her hand came almost crashing into our faces..and oh my goodness..what big hands she has.. We were so alert and much smarter so she missed...could you imagine the impact it could have made? And here is where I say... "Don't start something you can't finish...Do not hurt the people who matters to me...coz if you do... mariah will sing these lines to you..."I will hunt you down"..haha!

Til my next entry..

Question & Answer Part I

1. Have you ever said, you'll never love again?
** i won't justify this question with an answer

2. Anything bothering you right now?
**a lot of foulness and negativity

3. Is there something you wanna let go of?
** my procrastination and tardiness..i want to take my time...

4. Do the old songs you had in your past really remind you of the memories?
** i choose not to

5. How important is trust??
** it's a fundamental in all relationships

6. How do you forget someone?
** BEER!! and a lot of sleep

7. Is crying a sign of weakness?
** obvious ba? Justifying lang ung mga nagssabing oo..the brave ones are those who admit that they'r weak.. =)

8. Do you always regret?
** i choose not to din..yung mga di ko mkalimutan even if i want to, I can always forget they ever happened..talented ako eh..haha...kawawa nman ung mga kinalimutan ko na..i really can't remember them

9. Do you find your ex's new gf/bfgood looking?
** hehe..kaw na bahala dun

10. One crazy thing you did lately
**danced in front of the surveillance in the elevator

11. Greatest HERO/HEROINE?
**my Tatay (father), he's also a worthy oponent/villain hehe

12. What will you do if you're stuck inthe elevator with someone you don'tlike?
** dedma bsta may hawak ng kahit anung matalim sa kamay..(kiddin)

13. Have you ever wanted someone but you can’t have him/her?
** u can always get wut u want if tlgang driven ka, d rest is up to God's good will

14. Have you ever said 'I love you' butyou lied?
** haha!! no comment.. =p

15. Would you ever want to go back inthe past?
**sometimes, like..i would'v paid mor atention 2my studies..so i could'v goofed around earlier..haaiy..

16. Do you really wanna please everybody?
** i do things coz i want to do them and pleasing others...it's quite innate in my system..i'm very likeable..kahit yung mga galit sakin..i know they like me..yey!!

17. Is waiting ever okay?
** u wait 4somthin u rily rily want

18. Right now, where do you wanna be?
** having a soiree on a yacht headed to the caribbean w/my family..my kwikz and some good friends

19. When is enough, enough?
** pag u rily hav nothin mor to give as in..toink..la na eh..numb na..or wen snabi mo na "PAPATAYIN NA KITA!" o diba? kaya enuf na..hehe

20. What are you so sick and tired of?
** fair-weather friends!! ska mga abusadong tao..b*lsh*t tlaga sila oh..IF YOU CAN'T BE MY FRIEND, THEN GET THE H*LL OUT OF MY LIFE LOWLIFE USERS!

21. What/Who made you smile today?
** Phoebee Buffet and Chandler Bing haha!

22. Is looking good important?
** good hygene lang minsan okay na

23. Do you listen to love songs whenyou’re down?
** sometimes, pro ms msrap ma2log

24. What are you thankful for?
** God's unending love..and the chance He gives me everyday to find and live out my purpose

25. Do you believe in forever?
** 4ever= love + magic + spark + communication + understanding + patience + kilig + trust + respect + a lot of Lobster..hmm..i hope so..

26. What are your plans for the weekend?
**be better, a lot of rest, QT w/my Quickie, eat at the seaside market

27. Will you say sorry first?
**yeah, sure...my parents taught me well..but "only" to people who is worthy of it

28. Do you believe that married couples should still go out on a date?
** bsta w/each other lang

29. Has someone promised you something and broke it?
** hu hasn't?? we can be jerks sometimes

30. Supposing you are being destroyed...Do you think revenge is okay?
**only in thought, but DON'T DO THEM..i'm smart, pretty, sexy and very sincere...people who loves me, knows that...even THEY know that...haha...why would I throw that away over pathetic low-lives?