Scorpion Bite

I was stung by a scorpion nung Saturday while nagsh-shopping kami ni Eri sa Cartimar. I checked out this shoe..eh meron pa shang newspaper inside..kaya tinangal ko. Eh meron pang isa sa dulo sa loob..dinukot ko..ayun..dale! Tagos ang pagkaka tusok sa middle finger ko. Ang tinde ng sakit! Gusto kong umiyak but I have no strength to. Mahilo-hilo ko sa sakit. Blood was all over the floor at talagang pinipisat ni Eri ung finger ko hanggang wala ng blood na lumabas, kaso, tuloy tuloy pa rin yung blood. Mejo malaki kasi yung scorpion. kasing haba siguro ng isang Nokia 8210..la kasi ako maisip na comparison eh. Yup, malaki nga sha. I was then brought to the nearest hospital which is Pasay General Hospital. Nurses attended to me immediately. They asked some questions na nasasagot ko pa kahit namimilipit na ko sa sakit, until nahilo na ko ng tuluyan. They got me a wheelchair. Oh, diba? OA na? But honestly, that’s what happened. Umabot na kasi sa shoulders ko yung pain. Ganun kasakit. They injected me with something twice sa knuckles ng middle finger ko. May konti akong naramdaman but it was worth it kasi mas matindi yung sakit ng sting, and eventually, nabawasan yung pain. Nawala lalo yung pain nung narealize ko na we were in the ER at ma-spot naming ni Eri ang isang guy na sabi pa..

“Doc, may saksak po ako..eto oh..”

He lifted up his shirt at kitang kita naming yung wound na parang hiniwa ng blade na may blood sa loob. I wanted to run out from the hospital pero sabi nung nurse sakin. I-wash ko daw muna yung sting. Oh edi sige! Tapos pag punta naming ni Eri ng sink, grabe naman ang blood doon na nag clog pa. Ay Caramba! Kahit mahilo hilo pa ko, I washed my hands looking up the ceiling, then hurried out sa benches. Lumapit na si doc na di ko man lang nakuha yung name. Balik daw pag may problems.

Thanks doctor.

Ayun, umalis na kami. We even had time to eat sa Greenich.

Hay..What a weekend that was for me. And you know what? Before that awful day, I was having LBM pa. I’m a little bit dry na from all the water discarding my body is doing.l I can’t drink H2O kasi I will run sa CR afterwards. Haay..kawawa naman ang baby. Dami ko pa pimples from puyat. Nevertheless..dami pa rin nag mamahal sakin in spite of my misery. Nakakatawa lang mga nangyari sakin this weekend. And besides, there’s a lot more things I should be thankful for diba? Like the other day..sobrang kati ng likod ko pati ng tummy ko. Hala..nung kinamot ko..kakaibang satisfaction ang naramdaman ko. I thank God for the wonderful feeling scratching an itch give. I thank God for yawning and stretching and a goodnight sleep. I thank God for laughter. I thank God for my life and the continuous comfort and protection He gives my family, Eri and people I care about everyday.

Thank you Lord..for everything. I love you.

Pag-babago!

Grabe..ayoko na nga mag english. Wala namang nag babasa ng mga post ko. Who do I have to impress ba? Ni wala man lang nag co-comment eh. Hay..from now on I’m going to write how ever I chose to do it. Mula ngayon..magtatagalog na din ako..

So? Anung gusto kong sabihin? Hmm..ah..alam ko na..

Kanina ang sakit ng puson ko..every guy na ka-officemate ko na naka spot sa pamimilipit ko ng katawan sabi ba naman sakin..

“Oh, bakit ganyan ka? ”
“Sakit puson ko eh..”
“Ah..mag-kakaron ka na..inom ka maligamgam na water..”

Yaks..how can they be so comfortable telling me that. And, ako nga di ko alam about dun sa water eh. Ako tuloy yung nahiya. Pero ang galling noh? Sobrang lawak ng pag iisip nila para ma absorb na merong dugo na lalabas sating mga girls every month. Wahaha!! Wala lang..natatawa lang ako. Sabi pa nung isang employee ditto last time sakin..

“O, bakit may pasa ka?! Meron ka noh? Yung misis ko ganyan din pag may Reg** eh..konting sanggi mu lang..hala..ayan na ang mga pasa.”

HuWhaat?!! What a word!?! Babae nga ako..pero..hoyst! Ang term naman..hehe
Kung sa bagay..kanya kanyang trip yan. Siguro lang, hindi nila ko Makita as miss-eew..i don’t make tusok tusok to the fishballs..as in..heller..as in..like..eeww..type of girl. Hay nako..it's tough minsan being a girl..lalo na kung hindi pang girl ang mga trip mo. Ako kasi, I least like yung mga sobrang pa-girl stuff. Yung para sakin O.A. na..like pink gamit tapos terno pa lahat. Ayoko ng terno terno, pati partner mo ka-terno mo? Okay lang kung halos parehas lang kayo ng shade ng color. Yung isa lighter brown and the other, dark brown, pero yung exactly alike..haha..mag-sasayaw ba kayo? Ayoko din ng lip gloss kase parang may sebo sa bibig. I dont fancy yung mga to the highest level na heels, heavy-gat na earings. Hay..di na kasi girlie like yun eh..mga pang drag queens na yun eh. Not that there's anything wrong with drag queens or anu man. Sakin lang naman yan =p

Diba there are other ways para magpa pansin diba? And believe me..kung innate na ang appeal..kahit naka yuko ka..may papansin at papansin sayo. No need for extra effort. Kung wala naman pumansin sayo..Paki alam ba nila.. mahal ka naman ng nanay mo, ng kapatid mo, ng grandpa and grandma mo..basta meron jan..Nasaan man sha.We don't need them..

Oops..sorry..asan na ba ko? Ayun na nga. Teka..sakit ulet puson ko..rest muna ko ah..Bye-yay!

I'm addicted to videoke

***I love to sing-along. Minsan sablay, minsan naman..dale! Overall..it's all good.

On my sidebar, I posted a list of some of the songs I surely love to sing..bwahaha! Sing with me! Just right click on the song and then select open in new window.

I enjoy being goofy. I love to be happy and have fun. I'm not that great a singer, frustrated somehow. Baket ba? Human rights dude. I have the right to sing and you have the right to listen.. or probably..stuff cotton in your ears otherwise. Ah basta.. I love videoke! =p

Feel beautiful within

***Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am a movie freak, I care about animals, I love to eat seafood (except fish), I am an idealist, can be pretty honest, really amiable and in my mid twenties. Most of the time, I don't really care about my image. I often let my hair fall anywhere it does. I put on clothes that I am just comfortable wearing. I don't carry a lot of stuff when I go out, just as long as the clothes I am wearing has pockets for money and my phone. I don't wear a lot of make up. Just a lip color and some powder, maybe a little mascara..and I'm all set (except when I take pictures..I tend to go a little crazy). I value good manners and proper etiquette. I have cool friends. God loves me and my family is perfect. I don't like fights and arguments. I can be pretty messy if my family is involved or the people that I care about. I'm one tough cookie.

These are a bit about me. Can't really complain huh? But lately I've been up and down with how I feel about my personality. I have been trying to convince myself that I am a good person, but I haven't really caught some proof of that. Sure I pray a lot but that doesn't make me a saint. Not that I want to be a saint or something. I just want to be acknowledged in my own goodness per se.

Let me give you a clip from my all-time favorite movie:

Edward: "You could be so much more."
Vivian: "People put you down enough, you start to believe it."
Edward: "I think you are a very bright, very special woman."
Vivian Ward: "The bad stuff is easier to believe..you ever notice that?"
Roan: "DON'T BELIEVE THEM VIVIAN!"

A lot of people may talk negatively about me. I don't really care. But whenever I think of how I am continuously making amendments within myself to be a good person for others, some are doing exactly the opposite (which is persistently trying to make me look bad), makes me want to throw up and say.. "Why bother?"

Maybe a lot is angry at me because I have hurt them. Maybe I am a bad person. But you know what? I don't want to be bad! I try my hardest to please people. I can even be a pushover! I have not hurt people intentionally. Well, I may have had. You know how people literally "ask for it"? I don't know. They probably did that to themselves, unconsciously. I know that people often insult out of improper anger or jealousy, and people who continuously perfect these insults, grow old and fugly.

And another thing, it's not like I go around places intentionally hurting other people, you know. Its not like I have my victims or something. I know I'm not all bad. I know I have a great character in me and I’m trying to find my beauty from within, rather than from everyone else's point of view. I figured, no matter how many times somebody tells me I’m beautiful and this and that, none of it will really matter until I believe so myself. I have to feel beautiful on the inside so that things can really make a lot of difference in my life and my self-confidence.

Granted, there are mean and kniving people around me, but here is what I have learned so far off the top of my head:

1. The best revenge is for others to see how they have failed making you feel less about yourself and letting them find out how successful you have become in spite of their constant bugging you.
2. Don't be superficial. I should not be caught up in society's perception of what beautiful is.
3. Never be envious of others, in fact, let them be envious of me. Rid all of the possible insecurities. Try to avoid comparing one's self with others.
4. Understand that everybody makes mistakes..including smart, pretty sexy little me (he-he, no mistake about the latter).
5. Be humble Miss! Humility takes a lot of courage and wisdom. It can help one be more content with one's life, can also help endure bad times and improve relationships with others.
6. Laugh more! Even at myself. Read funny jokes, quotes and stories too. Cheer others too.
7. Learn to sincerely accept others for who they are so they may sincerely accept you too
8. Be proud of your goodness. Don't change the beautiful person that you are just because people think you suck. However, if you must change, change for the better
9. Make a list and try to develop and enhance special talents.
10. Object once in a while. People often abuse others' silence. Fight for the ones you love once in a while. If it helps, defer with their mediocrity but in a courteous manner.
11. Have a strong point. Don't just yap and yap, stand up for what you beilieve in. They'd be too embarrassed to even argue. They'd either be more furious or will just love you.
12. Be smarter. Don't think you know it all! Be open-minded enough to seek out new knowledge. Besides, learning is fun.
13. Protect yourself. Give the benefit of the doubt. Be a great judge of character. Don't over do it though.
14. Be honest to yourself. Don't live in a fantasy where everything is is either good or bad. Balance everything. Be positive though.

That's about it for now. I'm gonna have to appreciate every single detail in my face, body and soul. Look in the mirror, look at others. I don't look like them, they don't look like me. I'm unique. No one else looks like me, the one and only amazing Roan!

I love who I am! And if people can't deal with this, then that makes me even more proud of my self.

The one that I wrote in my notebook

***I own a lot of notepads at home. Every single one is filled up with entries that is of no importance to many. But that is me. I love to write. I am a freak who like to remember everything I have thought about. Yuks! Is it even normal? I believe so..

Being a freak is really complicated. Okay if I am a freak..so is everyone else! Hmph..I would like to think of myself as a unique individual with a better perception in life than most people. A person who has established a perfect world in her mind..clearly justifying my freakiness.. I just think that I really have great thoughts..and I find it very difficult to match my great mind to my actions and the way I speak. I always come up with great plans, jokes, kindness, beautiful things.. Only, things don’t come out right or how I would have imagined it to be. I have a really weak mind and whatever coordination..(mind&body..mind&feet).. My mind often does all the assignment but seems to forget to have it submitted to the teacher. Maybe this was from the concussion I endured when I was six..no I think I was seven..Oh, God..How do I resolve this then? My memory is really killing me. That is why I want to write things down and hope some time in the future, I may understand myself...and others may see that I'm really sweet and kind and hot..haha! And by hot, I meant funny, seriously...nothing is wrong with me.. I just care too much and I pay a lot of attention to others' stupid innuendos. I care too much about how others would feel. I believe people so easily, which makes it hard for me to distinguish the sincere ones from the not. I often get caught in a trap where people gets to ravage me and do pretty much all the mean things they wish to do, while I cry helplessly (and look so sexy whenever I do, by the way)

This has got to stop..I have to be rough! Mean! I want to be a bad-ass! A browbeat! The Bully! The devil who wears Prada..in my case..Landmark Shoes..This is a dog eat dog world! The survival of the fittest and I have to..

Wait..Who am I kidding..I can't be that pathetic. Its nicer to be at a place where everybody is at a raucous while I stay serene, pretty, happy and really GAY..

Doesn't matter how I am. I'm a resilient baby girl. I pity those who underestimate me. They are quite missing out a lot. I have so much to give, and I know that if they knew the whole lot of me..they'd be begging for more.

So, enough of the riddles and enigmas, I don't really know what I am talking about. As I told you before..I just write whatever comes out of my mind..I don't know what I just said..or maybe I do..

It doesn't matter..

I ROCK!!

(grin)