A Sullied Life

Interesting ain't it.. How when one takes a glimpse of a well rounded life..
She gets to see things in a different perspective somehow..
A life far from what she has thought it would be..
Everything is just fine at first.
One gets to walk the path of life without a worry about a thing.
Suddenly, it gets a bit cloudy..
It then gets a bit complicated.
..and then the world falls apart..
Struggle and chaos occurs in a once serene mind..
In an instant, an inexplicable pain somewhere in one's humanity appears without her having the strength to repel it.. not even once.. not even just a bit..
So painful that it felt like the body's deteriorating.. slowly.. surely..
hmm..
And then, when there ain't nothing left to destroy.. pain goes away..
Surprisingly, one tries to search for it.. out of curiosity..
One starts to wonder where it went..
She can't get a clear picture of how it used to feel..
One is implicit to herself..
Current state feels so light and everything seemingly fixated on something she just couldn't get a hold of..
One couldn't notice though, how everything else is healing..
Everything shines..
Subconsciously, one becomes happy again..
So happy, one starts to drive to wherever the wheel takes the body and soul to..
Having the idea that getting in trouble seems like fun..
Deluded by the thrill each challenges brings her every single day..
So uncertain of where the road will take her..She moves on effortlessly..
The journey unconsciously comes to a halt as she hits a massive wall..
There aren't any pain, though, cos one is dazzled by the lightness of her figuratively non-existent senses..
And so..
One goes blank.. Blinded..
Every beauty is unseen by her naked soul..
The thirst for the pain that once was there has been satisfying her throat of fears and unexplainable appetite for paranoia
a constant reminder that most of the things in this life is consumable but uncontainable..
Hazards to her being is inevitable, thus making pain a necessity to survive life..
Pain itself has been part of the delusional mind necessary to survive every foulness and dilemma one will and needs to encounter..
Eventually.. pain has evolved into a matter that has become an absence all through out her journey
As an alternative, she has allowed herself to be carried away by a subtle yet dangerous wave in the ocean of life..
Though she tries to complicate things in her own mystical ways..
It just couldn't happen for her, cos there's total ecstasy..
It's not about time for her to feel any weary..
And although she's unsure.. and wide-eyed
It's quite okay..
It's all in God's good time as to when and how it will all get better
and yeah..
It's fine.. cos He said it will definitely get better..