I love kitties!

***I love all sort of living creatures, except maybe, things that has more than two pairs of feet. I don't like crawling things, I can't like insects especially when they fly or when they are squished..yiehk! And that is why I just leave them alone and let them crawl, just..not on my skin okay? And don't fly around little insects. Never squish them..yiehk two tops!

In short, I prefer mammals. Cats in particular..Caught the following kitties, Googling around. (those two above are mine..) Check em out..hehe:

Cute Costume..love the hat..love the faceCrocodile tears..haha!Stick em upWho wants a cup of kitten?Let it out! I feel sorry for it.. A little nauseated after some punches, I presume..
Little buggerHere's another picture of a kittie..with a dog..aint it cute?
Woah..what is it? I think this one is a dog..no it's a cat..wait..i think it's a breed from both..hehelast but not the least..something from my room..hehe

Feel beautiful within

***Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am a movie freak, I care about animals, I love to eat seafood (except fish), I am an idealist, can be pretty honest, really amiable and in my mid twenties. Most of the time, I don't really care about my image. I often let my hair fall anywhere it does. I put on clothes that I am just comfortable wearing. I don't carry a lot of stuff when I go out, just as long as the clothes I am wearing has pockets for money and my phone. I don't wear a lot of make up. Just a lip color and some powder, maybe a little mascara..and I'm all set (except when I take pictures..I tend to go a little crazy). I value good manners and proper etiquette. I have cool friends. God loves me and my family is perfect. I don't like fights and arguments. I can be pretty messy if my family is involved or the people that I care about. I'm one tough cookie.

These are a bit about me. Can't really complain huh? But lately I've been up and down with how I feel about my personality. I have been trying to convince myself that I am a good person, but I haven't really caught some proof of that. Sure I pray a lot but that doesn't make me a saint. Not that I want to be a saint or something. I just want to be acknowledged in my own goodness per se.

Let me give you a clip from my all-time favorite movie:

Edward: "You could be so much more."
Vivian: "People put you down enough, you start to believe it."
Edward: "I think you are a very bright, very special woman."
Vivian Ward: "The bad stuff is easier to believe..you ever notice that?"
Roan: "DON'T BELIEVE THEM VIVIAN!"

A lot of people may talk negatively about me. I don't really care. But whenever I think of how I am continuously making amendments within myself to be a good person for others, some are doing exactly the opposite (which is persistently trying to make me look bad), makes me want to throw up and say.. "Why bother?"

Maybe a lot is angry at me because I have hurt them. Maybe I am a bad person. But you know what? I don't want to be bad! I try my hardest to please people. I can even be a pushover! I have not hurt people intentionally. Well, I may have had. You know how people literally "ask for it"? I don't know. They probably did that to themselves, unconsciously. I know that people often insult out of improper anger or jealousy, and people who continuously perfect these insults, grow old and fugly.

And another thing, it's not like I go around places intentionally hurting other people, you know. Its not like I have my victims or something. I know I'm not all bad. I know I have a great character in me and I’m trying to find my beauty from within, rather than from everyone else's point of view. I figured, no matter how many times somebody tells me I’m beautiful and this and that, none of it will really matter until I believe so myself. I have to feel beautiful on the inside so that things can really make a lot of difference in my life and my self-confidence.

Granted, there are mean and kniving people around me, but here is what I have learned so far off the top of my head:

1. The best revenge is for others to see how they have failed making you feel less about yourself and letting them find out how successful you have become in spite of their constant bugging you.
2. Don't be superficial. I should not be caught up in society's perception of what beautiful is.
3. Never be envious of others, in fact, let them be envious of me. Rid all of the possible insecurities. Try to avoid comparing one's self with others.
4. Understand that everybody makes mistakes..including smart, pretty sexy little me (he-he, no mistake about the latter).
5. Be humble Miss! Humility takes a lot of courage and wisdom. It can help one be more content with one's life, can also help endure bad times and improve relationships with others.
6. Laugh more! Even at myself. Read funny jokes, quotes and stories too. Cheer others too.
7. Learn to sincerely accept others for who they are so they may sincerely accept you too
8. Be proud of your goodness. Don't change the beautiful person that you are just because people think you suck. However, if you must change, change for the better
9. Make a list and try to develop and enhance special talents.
10. Object once in a while. People often abuse others' silence. Fight for the ones you love once in a while. If it helps, defer with their mediocrity but in a courteous manner.
11. Have a strong point. Don't just yap and yap, stand up for what you beilieve in. They'd be too embarrassed to even argue. They'd either be more furious or will just love you.
12. Be smarter. Don't think you know it all! Be open-minded enough to seek out new knowledge. Besides, learning is fun.
13. Protect yourself. Give the benefit of the doubt. Be a great judge of character. Don't over do it though.
14. Be honest to yourself. Don't live in a fantasy where everything is is either good or bad. Balance everything. Be positive though.

That's about it for now. I'm gonna have to appreciate every single detail in my face, body and soul. Look in the mirror, look at others. I don't look like them, they don't look like me. I'm unique. No one else looks like me, the one and only amazing Roan!

I love who I am! And if people can't deal with this, then that makes me even more proud of my self.

The one that I wrote in my notebook

***I own a lot of notepads at home. Every single one is filled up with entries that is of no importance to many. But that is me. I love to write. I am a freak who like to remember everything I have thought about. Yuks! Is it even normal? I believe so..

Being a freak is really complicated. Okay if I am a freak..so is everyone else! Hmph..I would like to think of myself as a unique individual with a better perception in life than most people. A person who has established a perfect world in her mind..clearly justifying my freakiness.. I just think that I really have great thoughts..and I find it very difficult to match my great mind to my actions and the way I speak. I always come up with great plans, jokes, kindness, beautiful things.. Only, things don’t come out right or how I would have imagined it to be. I have a really weak mind and whatever coordination..(mind&body..mind&feet).. My mind often does all the assignment but seems to forget to have it submitted to the teacher. Maybe this was from the concussion I endured when I was six..no I think I was seven..Oh, God..How do I resolve this then? My memory is really killing me. That is why I want to write things down and hope some time in the future, I may understand myself...and others may see that I'm really sweet and kind and hot..haha! And by hot, I meant funny, seriously...nothing is wrong with me.. I just care too much and I pay a lot of attention to others' stupid innuendos. I care too much about how others would feel. I believe people so easily, which makes it hard for me to distinguish the sincere ones from the not. I often get caught in a trap where people gets to ravage me and do pretty much all the mean things they wish to do, while I cry helplessly (and look so sexy whenever I do, by the way)

This has got to stop..I have to be rough! Mean! I want to be a bad-ass! A browbeat! The Bully! The devil who wears Prada..in my case..Landmark Shoes..This is a dog eat dog world! The survival of the fittest and I have to..

Wait..Who am I kidding..I can't be that pathetic. Its nicer to be at a place where everybody is at a raucous while I stay serene, pretty, happy and really GAY..

Doesn't matter how I am. I'm a resilient baby girl. I pity those who underestimate me. They are quite missing out a lot. I have so much to give, and I know that if they knew the whole lot of me..they'd be begging for more.

So, enough of the riddles and enigmas, I don't really know what I am talking about. As I told you before..I just write whatever comes out of my mind..I don't know what I just said..or maybe I do..

It doesn't matter..

I ROCK!!

(grin)

Don't you just love today?

***Aren't you glad you are alive today. I sure am. All the worries of yesterday has passed away. Can we start over? Today is a brand new day.

It's Friday and I am feeling really happy. Yesterday, my Kwikz (a term of endearment my partner and I share..so is Quickie, BabyLove, Pa & Ma and a lot more..) went over the house to spend a little time with me, since it's our 73rd month anniversary. For a gift, I wrote a poem and I spent the whole day furnishing it and really making it..just great. I wrote it in a card, and I have to tell you, I am good writing stuff like that. I gave the card and we had a little chat. We snuggled. Two of our friends were there and they didn't care about what immorality we were displaying..hehe. They were just there, hanging out with us. The poem was highly appreciated by the way, thanked me, kissed me..but then, we had to cut our moments short because there's still Friday's work. My kwikz had to go home, but over all, I had a good night sleep, which is why I am happy today.

This morning, I woke up and I was dreaming about a billion things..good things. I gathered all the strength I need to get off the bed..and when I looked out the window, I saw a cat. A male cat that looked like someone famous. Filled with positivity and happiness, I talked to the cat and told him..

"Oh! Ikaw?! Bakit kamukha mo si Charlie Chaplin ha?!"

It has a weird fur between its nose and mouth, shaped like a beard and a hat to complete the outfit. I don't mean like it's wearing an actual hat but the hair and ears are shaded black in a figure of a hat. Yah, I'm sure. Isn't it weird? haha! It's true! I did saw a cat looking like that!

I have like, the most wildest imaginations and I think I'm funny, and I like being happy. It's so sad how others live their lives making others feel miserable, when everybody deserves the smallest..slightest amount of happiness in the world. Why would some, deprive them of that right? Maybe because they are miserable in their own. I feel sorry for them.

Have you thought about what made you happy today? I hope this blog did.

Roan

The one where I can't open my blog

***This was something I wrote in the word prosessor. It was meant to be for last JUNE 19. So..here goes..

Where is my blog site? I can’t seem to open my page. (Eventually, I did.) I need some serious thoughts writing now! Pronto! Anyway, I slept late this morning(06.19.08)..at around 5 am. My partner and I had some argument over text messages and I was unable to let myself be heard enough, but seriously, I don’t think that was the problem. I know I made myself perfectly clear; the receiving end seemingly doesn’t want to hear me out. It’s just so unfair every time people do that. It makes me want to roll my eyes all over the place. Haaiy..what can I do? I love the the person very much. What am I complaining about then? I’ve been in this roller coaster ride for six fascinating years now, and by the way..I love roller coaster rides..literally. I think I can handle six more..and more..times a lifetime..

A poem for my life

It's crazy and I think it's a crime,
For unknowingly hurting me most of the time.

You give me countless headaches, pain and nausea,
It's either I cry or get amnesia.

I say crazy rhyming words and it's utterly funny,
I don't really care because I'm extremely yummy.

I just can't understand why we still fight all the time after six magical years.
I'm not anxious to brag that we shared rivers of tears. Quickie, you've forgotten to be sweet and you know it,
But I LOVE YOU and I'm overlooking this a bit.

You are my life and I just can't live without you,
No one could understand unless they live in my shoe.

We are a match made for goodness and it's all according to plan.

We are one tough team to beat, you and me, you know.. Len and Roan.

I know YOU LOVE ME TOO and you are really trying really hard,
To please and satisfy me even when I act like a retard.

Oh, but I'll never let you go my Love, my Life and my Soulmate,
For you are my KNIGHT with a shining armor plate.

I will be yours within this lifetime and until death and the afterlife and over again,

So please share with me, this one big FOR ETERNITY Chain.

I really am..inlove with you Quickie.

My very own THEORY

***I have established a theory in my mind and I am typing it down right now. Let me call it, "The Art Of Hurting Someone". Everybody is capable of hurting anybody, be it intentional or not. And I have to tell you...there is no easy way to do it, unless the person is that cursed and really can't help it doing it. So, in my opinion. One should learn my theory. An action inevitable but can be really perfected, be an innate ability and may be life changing, but in all good sense. (God,I hope I'm making my point).

Here's how you try to do it. Think of an act of hurting someone wherein you practice the kind that hurts so good. The kind of hurt you let others feel which will may make them so0oh sexy when they cry. The kind of hurt that would make others realize they are better than who they are. The kind of hurt that brings us closer to God. And a lot more of that kind.

Be careful who you hurt though. You might do these for the wrong reasons. They might hurt you back...and more. Some may never understand. You might not be able to handle the pain they may give you back. Some people are really capable of doing just that, only, they chose not to. Unless you really want them to hurt you, the only way is to provoke them, but you won't..because..it could be your last..you know..thing to do, unless you want it to be..

Think of the people whom you might have hurt and people who possibly, may have hurt you. This theory could be your ticket to redemption. Now..Go! You know what to do. I just hope you do the right one though..if not, then do that stupid things you always do anyway which is to "always think you are right"..

As for me...I know where I stand. Good luck to you.

One Crazy weekend

***My friends and I went out for a heavy drinking spree last Saturday. We went to Malate. Oh, we were in an place full of Emos and Rockers, whom I respect by the way, the only contradiction I may share is that they dress far more differently from the way my friends and I do..and also, there are some more scary looking fellas within the area, as if they were keeping knives somewhere in their body. I know it is not fair for me to judge by the book, because not every seemingly dangerous looking felonies...could be who I think they may be, in fact, many a backstabber could be dressed as a very dear friend...unknowingly destroying your reputation and so much overflowing with insecurities..eventually, acting so pathetically lame and coming up with poor lines such as "I'm just being civil..nyeh-nyeh.." when in fact they clearly do not know the proper usage of such words. They should try using "I'm just a fake person making them believe I am their friend because I don't want them saying anything bad about me". Do you get where I am going at?? I'm sorry if you are sensing a little hostility from me today...I have a little cold and not feeling very good at the moment...so please, bear with me.

Honestly, I just want to tell you readers, that we should not be TOO superficial okay. It's okay to be cautious every now and then, but please, keep the judgement all to yourself. Make sure it doesn't show in the face and when you have gotten to know the person, try learning about trust. As for me, I just want to keep, protect and treasure the people I love and care for...and that is about it for now.

Anyhow, back to my story. There was a very evil girl who acted so cheap and I would enjoy calling fat because she has played her ill manners card, is really huge and obviously brought up wrongly by her parents...(lucky for me, I have the grandest parents..thank God). I should stop boasting, for some of my "civil friends" might get happy for me again (note:SARCASM). Again, back to the story..this girl kept knocking and knocking on the door as if we were in there for hours but the fact is they were walking behind us and saw us came in...talk about their intent to trigger the bomb right? Being a little kind and polite, we asked them nicely why they had to knock that way, told them that it made us uncomfortable and clearly, that act? it was provoking us...we told her to either stop pissing us off or tell us who did it..I remember perfectly how she said she did not do it but there was the voice...her big voice saying "HOOOYYY...BILISAN NYO!!" and no two people in the same tiny space at the same unbelievable time could have that same voice because it is gonna be really weird and freaky.. she said more mean things to us first and after a few exchange of words, she got tired of talking and her hand came almost crashing into our faces..and oh my goodness..what big hands she has.. We were so alert and much smarter so she missed...could you imagine the impact it could have made? And here is where I say... "Don't start something you can't finish...Do not hurt the people who matters to me...coz if you do... mariah will sing these lines to you..."I will hunt you down"..haha!

Til my next entry..

Question & Answer Part I

1. Have you ever said, you'll never love again?
** i won't justify this question with an answer

2. Anything bothering you right now?
**a lot of foulness and negativity

3. Is there something you wanna let go of?
** my procrastination and tardiness..i want to take my time...

4. Do the old songs you had in your past really remind you of the memories?
** i choose not to

5. How important is trust??
** it's a fundamental in all relationships

6. How do you forget someone?
** BEER!! and a lot of sleep

7. Is crying a sign of weakness?
** obvious ba? Justifying lang ung mga nagssabing oo..the brave ones are those who admit that they'r weak.. =)

8. Do you always regret?
** i choose not to din..yung mga di ko mkalimutan even if i want to, I can always forget they ever happened..talented ako eh..haha...kawawa nman ung mga kinalimutan ko na..i really can't remember them

9. Do you find your ex's new gf/bfgood looking?
** hehe..kaw na bahala dun

10. One crazy thing you did lately
**danced in front of the surveillance in the elevator

11. Greatest HERO/HEROINE?
**my Tatay (father), he's also a worthy oponent/villain hehe

12. What will you do if you're stuck inthe elevator with someone you don'tlike?
** dedma bsta may hawak ng kahit anung matalim sa kamay..(kiddin)

13. Have you ever wanted someone but you can’t have him/her?
** u can always get wut u want if tlgang driven ka, d rest is up to God's good will

14. Have you ever said 'I love you' butyou lied?
** haha!! no comment.. =p

15. Would you ever want to go back inthe past?
**sometimes, like..i would'v paid mor atention 2my studies..so i could'v goofed around earlier..haaiy..

16. Do you really wanna please everybody?
** i do things coz i want to do them and pleasing others...it's quite innate in my system..i'm very likeable..kahit yung mga galit sakin..i know they like me..yey!!

17. Is waiting ever okay?
** u wait 4somthin u rily rily want

18. Right now, where do you wanna be?
** having a soiree on a yacht headed to the caribbean w/my family..my kwikz and some good friends

19. When is enough, enough?
** pag u rily hav nothin mor to give as in..toink..la na eh..numb na..or wen snabi mo na "PAPATAYIN NA KITA!" o diba? kaya enuf na..hehe

20. What are you so sick and tired of?
** fair-weather friends!! ska mga abusadong tao..b*lsh*t tlaga sila oh..IF YOU CAN'T BE MY FRIEND, THEN GET THE H*LL OUT OF MY LIFE LOWLIFE USERS!

21. What/Who made you smile today?
** Phoebee Buffet and Chandler Bing haha!

22. Is looking good important?
** good hygene lang minsan okay na

23. Do you listen to love songs whenyou’re down?
** sometimes, pro ms msrap ma2log

24. What are you thankful for?
** God's unending love..and the chance He gives me everyday to find and live out my purpose

25. Do you believe in forever?
** 4ever= love + magic + spark + communication + understanding + patience + kilig + trust + respect + a lot of Lobster..hmm..i hope so..

26. What are your plans for the weekend?
**be better, a lot of rest, QT w/my Quickie, eat at the seaside market

27. Will you say sorry first?
**yeah, sure...my parents taught me well..but "only" to people who is worthy of it

28. Do you believe that married couples should still go out on a date?
** bsta w/each other lang

29. Has someone promised you something and broke it?
** hu hasn't?? we can be jerks sometimes

30. Supposing you are being destroyed...Do you think revenge is okay?
**only in thought, but DON'T DO THEM..i'm smart, pretty, sexy and very sincere...people who loves me, knows that...even THEY know that...haha...why would I throw that away over pathetic low-lives?

My name is Roan!

***I decided to write some stuff down from my great and wonderful mind. I am so much thinking about things that’s either very magnificent or compellingly disturbing. So here are my first thoughts for today.

Let me tell you about myself a little bit. My friends call me Ann. Some call me Ro..and some just Roan. It’s pronounced like “roh-ahn”. I think one should like one’s name because it’s one’s identity..and should best define one’s character and personality. I've searched for the deeper meaning of my name, and surprisingly, it made me laugh hysterically, but in a very appreciative kind of way when I found out that my name is also a name for a miniature-like horse..so cute! Some of them looks like a cross breed between a wilder beast and an antelope. It’s like a unicorn but less magical and more awesome because it’s real and tangible. I found out that these animals live in stable herds in the same activity area for years, and the bulls (male ones), defend females from interlopers. Serious fights can occur..whooaahh! They prefer to graze, but will browse if grass is sparse. Talk about deep huh?

Not only have I given justice to my name but I even found babies named Roan as well..
Look! This one is a baby who won The Cute Baby Award somewhere abroad, March 2006 (cute huh?). Try looking up on Google. You might find her..or him. I, currently, do not have any baby pictures of my own..But I assure you..I'm pretty darn cute during my infant days..hehe.

I really like my name..and even if I don’t, I still have to. But if ever I’d pick one out for my own liking, I think I’d go for Lexy. It’s very sexy and appealing to me, or Angel, since I’ve been told that I’m an angel..by my mommy, but that was like years ago, when I was so innocent and naive..before I have had my first period (eww for some). Hey! This is my blog so..my thoughts.

So, where were we? Hmm, okay names..I also like Callista. In a particular country that I could not recall, it means most beautiful, not that I'm implying I am most beautiful, it's just that, I am thinking of names that I like..know what, I think anyone has the right to feel most beautiful in her own personal point of view, and I know I'm one of them. If you don't concur, then think of your own name then..hehe

I’d also go for Kylie, because I love the sound of that one. What if I go for Forgie? haha!! I just thought maybe because I’m very forgetful. Or, how about Wolverine, since he’s strong and powerful and very fierce in a heroic way..plus, I really like Hugh Jackman. I also like Hugh Grant..whew! Touché for two cute Hugh’s on the planet. Hey, there goes a cute man’s name. Not so thrilled with Wolverine though.

Okay, so other names..hmm..I love seafood. You think I could go by the name Lobsterania or Crabellete..no, I guess not. How about Shrimy? No, not right either. Oh, I know, I like Penelope Cruz, so I could go by that name, only I’d change it to Penelope Cruzada..or maybe, Kristin Kreuk’s name (since I like her as well) and change it to Kirstin Cook, for I love to eat...almost anything..less on the sugar though. Ask me about the Kirstin and Cruzada next time..(grinning).

There are lots of other girlie names that I love to mention, it's just that I forgot them and why I like them. I'll share them with you some other time. Till my next entry, thank you and God bless. Take care now..Buh-bye... =)

Fire away!

***Hi dear ones...here's my first, and certainly not the last, entry. You'l have to excuse my spelling by the way... Hmm.. I love to write about anything and everything. I have a very busy mind inside of me but often, when I try to speak.. not everything comes out right..hehe.. Currently, I am here at the front desk.. no.. I am behind the front desk and the laptop is in front of me. I am typing and I don't think many is interested enough to read about my blog..except maybe..Me.. and I won't be reading them because they are long and I have no time and by the time that I do have time..I'd be too busy writing about something else...or maybe drinking with my friends and getting really drunk and wasted by the weekend.

Anyway, let me tell you about my daily whereabouts. I am a receptionist..somewhere. The salary is reasonable and okay. I have my own computer and it is internet ready. I have a phone on my left. No incoming calls for me..only those from my bosses who needs me for somethings. The door and I have established a very great relationship for almost two weeks now. I would like to call my door Blue.. not because it is all blue but its the only color I can spot from it. Blue is very clean and clear. It obeys my every whim..with just a push of the button..it does what it do best.. "open" it closes on its own..smart Blue eh? I have my very own stalker here as well.. "Little Eye".. It watches my every move..eww..doesn't say much really..just there..24/7..very still.. carefully watching my every motion.. what can I ask for.. I've a fake tree on my right..but don't call it that..it's like Pinocchio.. thinks it's a real tree..

Oh, Lord..readers might think I'm a little woo-hoo! I am perfectly healthy and sane individual.. I just have a lot of free time.. and it's really not that big a deal to write things down hoping one day someone may read this..hehe.. It's just like talking alone.. (huh?) the only difference is the memory is preserved and everything is entirely different than talking alone.. but when you think about it.. it's quite the same right? so, I therefore conclude that not everyone who talks to themselves is crazy. I hope so.. or else.. nyayks! Gotta rest for a while.. I need to go to the potty room..whew.. I have a lot of cool things to say really.. so..read on.. mwah!!