I cRuSh yOu sOoOo mUchOs!

Hugh Michael Jackman
Date of Birth: Saturday October 12 1968
Place of Birt:Sydney (Australia)
Height: 6' 2½" (1.89 m)


People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" in 2008.

Stressed out

I've been having a terrible weekend. Let me count the stress I've been burdened with this weekend.

My AUB is missing.. Don't know how I lost it.. Now I don't have any money cos I can't withdraw! Dapat mag papa pizza ko sa friends ko last saturday.. Eh 1k lang out of pocket limit ko that night kaya yun..Bad trip!

My certification got extended cos I screwed up some verification issues (something from work). I have a week to catch up but my voice is gruffy and I need my voice to be very effective sa work right? Plus.. some guys from work are being.. you know.. being BOYS and talking stuff about a Capricorn girl.. and it's kind of uncomfortable kasi basta.. friend ko sha and behave kase ko.. or at least.. trying to be.. hehe.. What I am fearing kasi is baka mag karon ako ng bad label sa work cos of miss naughty Capricorn.. I'm one of the boys and they know that and I don't want that to change.. Hay.. Boys will be boys talaga.. ang lupit non! ang lupit non! BASTA! Couple of things I have to say bout work.. first.. Sobrang behave ko second.. SCORPIOs rock!! (making me smile tuloy.. bad trip!)

A special person I wanted to have as a friend is avoiding me. Ayaw daw nya maging friends kami. I said sa kanya.. A new friend should always be welcome to anyone's life.. Why naman kasi dapat mag rush in and make things complicated kasi diba.. Sabi nya.. Looking na sha for someone to spend the rest ng life nya with.. Everybody wants that naman talaga diba.. I on the other hand needs a rain check on that..

Someone who did a really bad thing to me is getting everything her way. She got away with the crime she did and now she seems to walk around as if nothing terrible happened to me. She's spendng time with my friends and it's really unfair. That's my comfort zone eh and I can't have her moving around where I feel most comfortable with. Not to be selfish or anything I don' want to breathe around where she has been. Joke lang! Sige na nga.. Take what you can.. Wag lang FAMILY KO at BESTFRIENDS KO! Yaan na ung mga bias.. Ganun talaga eh.. It's really nice knowing there are people playing on your team.. Lalo pa when you don't have to impose.. May kusa na mga nag mamahal sayo ng totoo.

Remember the rain last time? It was really awful. Normaly, I take quick baths everyday. But during that time.. I stayed in for almost three hours. I didn't wanted to move.. I wanted to cool down lang hangang gininaw na ko at marealize na I'm late na for work.
It was really messy that wednesday. The rain completely ruined my day. Pero after shift lumabas ako.. there was a very bright and big rainbow. Ang ganda.. however.. It was not enough to fix things for me.. Nakalimutan na ata ako ng tadhana.. helo0o0o0w TadhaNa!! I'm still here.. hehe..

Dear God.. Thanks for keeping me alive.. Thanks po at pinag isa nyo na yung problems ko.. Buti sabay sabay na.. I know you love me Lord.. Sige po.. Unahin Mo po muna sila.. There are bigger problems in the world.. Kaya ko pa naman po eh.. And I know that when I really cant na.. You will be there for me.. For the yoke that you gave me is easy and Your burden is light.. I will come to You when I need a rest.. Lav kita Lord.. Sobra..

i think i'm gona be sick

please don't rain.. I was doing okay lately.. I don't wanna feel sick again.. I wanna feel okay all the time.. I don't want to think.. I wanna be busy.. I want to move til my busyness wears out all the strength in my body and drain out all of my senses.. I wanna be senseless.. (huh? anu daw..) hehe..

God oh.. Look po.. Why ganto.. Sama pakiramdam ko.. Heal me po huh.. Don't let me feel sick again.. No more bad dreams..

Horror flicks makes me cry

For the past weekend I have always been out of the house. You wouldn't find me at home alone. I'm everywhere. I can't stand being in one place where I tend to ponder about serious matters. I try to keep myself busy as much as I can. I sleep in our sofa and I seldom go to my room. I go up after bathing and run elsewhere after that. By the way, another reason why I hang out in my room is cos Taygur just gave birth to three chubby kitties last Nov. 6th. I named one Junior, she's a girl and she looks exactly just like her mommy. I miss them already.

Anyway, last Saturday, I went to the house of a friend. We had a movie marathon. We watched a lot of morbid films filled with gore and gruesomeness. It was crazy and weird..but it was all good. We watched 30 Days of Nights and there was a particular scene that struck me big time. It was where in they were hiding up in the attic and one of them, an old man woke up from a supposedly nightmare.. crying.. and he was looking for Catherine.. his wife. The son told his father..

"Dad.."

"Mom died a long time ago.."

Waaaahhh... Isn't that the sweetest thing?! I want that..that forever type of longing by someone I trully love. Haay... That is one thing I am fearing.. I may probably feel that when I grow up. I might look for that person even when I am so0o0o old.

I can't live like that. It would be like A lifetime of darkness and not 30 days for me.. hehe.. I hope I fall inlove again.. cos the only person that I have ever deeply loved is not dead.. but completely alive and is with some.. whatever, I really don't care bout them. It's the freaking feeling that's haunting me once in a while.

I hope I find my soulmate someday.. Someone who will make me fall completely head over heels inlove with.. and would feel the same for me.. eternally.. (sob).. I miss love.. and all because of a horror flick.. ain't that weird.. hehe

i love You, Lord

My life may not be as majestic as the life of other people.. I may not be as great as some people I admire.. I may not be close to being a perfect child.. but I surely want to offer my life to You. If only I have lived it according to how I see it now.. wow.. you will be so proud of me.. I want to be good enough for You and for my family and friends and for people who.. uhmm.. people who thinks I'm worth being with.. (meron ba? hehe) I'm sorry for offending You so many times. I'm sorry for letting You down and for hurting You by making a fool of myself. I pray that you may help me redeem myself for You and for them. I hope that isn't too much to ask for a sinner like me.. Pasaway kasi ko Lord.. and I'm really sorry..

By the way Lord.. Thank you for the blessings You have given me and my family. I may not be able to see most of them.. but I surely know deep in my heart that You truly care.. and that everything You do and will.. You do them because You love me.. us.. Thank you for taking good care of the people I love and hold close to my heart.. Thank you for letting me live where people love and truly care for me.. I know I don't want to ask for fame and fortune.. I'm not as sure as before where I am going (cos I thought I already had everything) all that I am sure of is that Your plans are grand and that You will be there for me when I get there (wherever that may be).. Thank you for Your LOVE God.. with that.. I could not ask for anything more.. (every GOOD thing comes along with it)

I miss You Lord.. I'm going to church later.. Can't wait to talk to you.. I love you ever so dearly..

Cont.

Just got back from church.. I cried sa song ni Carol Banawa - Stay. I have always liked that song. I didn't know it would hit me right in the heart pala.

UNDAS is all about commemorating losses right? November 1st.. is an "okay" time to mourn and cry. Plus try spell out the word Undas backwards.. You will find that it has always been..

Sad Nu?? haha..

I was tear-jerking talaga sa church.. You know HOW I recently lost someone.. Feeling ko namatayan ako when I lost that person. Even though you don't want to miss them. You, eventually will.. It's really painful talaga thinking about how you'll never see someone ever again.. and if ever man that you might, someday.. You could no look at that person the same way, and if ever ulet that you do see them as you saw them before.. You'd try to avoid that feeling of electric shock sa head, arms and belly kasi you wouldn't want to fall again.. right diba? For some naman, it would be like looking at a ghost na lang. Good thing about me is I really don't believe in "multo" naman kase. It really is all in the head talaga. Haay..

Wait lang.. Good news.. Ang ganda ng hair ko.. Straight na straight.Shoot!! Ang ganda ko na!! Wohooh! Kaso kinakatakot ko lang is, di ako tinatablan ng mga treatments eh. So baka bumalik din sha sa magandang wavy hair ko after some weeks. Either way.. God loves me pa rin. Sige po.

Hola!