Honesty

Watched The Moment Of Truth earlier. A game show where in one sits in a chair and asked with random questions picked from the result of a lie-detector exam whatever the contestant previously had. The contestant then answers the questions truthfully and in front of people of much importance to him/her. They say questions are tricky.. Wooh..

Creepy show ain't it? Even the word HONESTY is pretty much.. vie-hery creepy.

Hmm.. Well.. It can be great though.. Especially when you have people who don't need it. I can very much conclude that honesty is used by selfish people.. Either for redemption or for useless self-realizations. Honesty is as worse as Lies.. Come to think of it.. They are actual buddies.. The first can't exist without the other.. Haha..

You know what I think? I think we should wipe out those two, can't go on smoothly having them around diba? Pathetic my point of views may seem.. Eh bakit ba.. I'm just being...... Hmm.. Open.. Doesn't sound right either.. Can't be honest.. Cos then it would mean there are intentions for lies.. Can't tell the truth.. Cos then it would mean one's been giving out false info all along.. I am just confusing myself.. patawa noh..

Truth is.. (hmm..??)
To cut the commentaries short.. (can't do that..let's try..)

Let me tell you this..

It is easy for some to voice out a statement which may be pleasing to other's sense of hearing.. some may possibly be untrue (flattery perhaps?).. they are adored and idolized for some freakishly-unfair reasons you know. On the other side of the world, there are people who aren't actually good at voicing out the grandest statement they could ever think of, which tends to make them look foolish. Take me for example.. silly little pa mali-mali.. People who knows me enough, could spot if I'm lying.. It's amazing really, how they can actually tell. That's why I'm not very much comfortable when I am being cornered. I itch from the inside.. I can't really control it.. That's why I try not to speak.. I try not to lie.. Cos whenever I do.. Seems like I'm betraying myself.. Honesty..I don't like that word.. I'm not so thrilled with such use of the word.. The world is full of lies anyway.. Why would I even bother.. right..

NOTE: Since I am a good protector and all.. I tend to jump up to another level whenever I protect people who matters.. kaya.. eyun.. Loyalty might be in question here.. Wag isali yun.. Honesty and Loyalty are not within the same level.. Kaya.. hmm.. eyun lang..

Anyway..
Moving on..

How would Roan define the word HONESTY without looking at a dictionary.. Check it out..
HoNeStY - conveying truth from within one's persona.. not the context nor the actual fact.. but what the heart and mind actually agree upon that the physique may actually tend to contain......

Wanna share something really honest..

I don't have any problems.. I'm not asking for any though.. hehe.. Being troubled by the situation people around me are putting themselves into.
I'm in a state of undefined carefree expression wherein I don't actually have a clue of what to do next. Haha.. Need to spice up my life..

He will guide me.. I know.. Stand-by lang daw muna ko..

Ang dal-dal ko noh??

Haha.. sorry naman.. My mind doesn't seem to run out of things to say.. (huh?)
I feel like there's a lot I need to share.. My life is passing me by.. And there's so much I need to tell.. They can't be stuck in my mind alone.. I'm one package delivered right in front of your PC's and all you need to do is open it up to learn some of the good stuff.. and even the bad stuff.

Oh boy, you have no idea of the stuff that's running inside this mind.. My heart may be pure.. My mind ain't though.. hehe.. Would you rather read my mind.. or my heart.. Let me share again a couple from both of them..

I remember one time when I was lying down alone in my room..

Teasin..

I'm currently eating pizza.. Nagpa deliver kasi si kuya.. Yaks.. anu un.. may na-chew akong kakaiba.. Meat.. from the hotdog.. yung sa crust.. Nyaks.. Di nga ku mahilig dito eh.. I'm not very fond of stuff made out of flour.. except maybe pasta (flour ba yun?).. Ayoko ng flour.. one thing I would want to do with flour though is to play with it.. probably roll over it.. in a bikini.. haha! You know.. Ayun lang.. Speaking of bikini.. I remember my green piece.. I lost it sa Bohol.. Sexy pa naman nun.. mint green.. Actually.. lahat naman ng two piece sexy diba..

There is something else I want to share..
I'm so weak and a bit feelin low this week.. Been tryin to dodge things that is possibly here already..
I'm scared.. Like a little girl.. I didn't see this coming.. Haha!! Wait.. Now I remember..
I went to church the other week.. I was prayin to Him.. I told Him how happy I am for the new year He gave me..
I told Him something..
I asked for His permission..
I promised Him something..
I remember.. I did say I will try..
I thought I could outsmart Him..
Hindi naman outsmart.. I fear kase I may fail.. Kaya I was praying it safe
He's the smartest though..
What made me think, that He would let me goof around without any consequence at all.. He's very tricky, God.. Got a very great sense of humor really.. Ayan tuloy.. I'm not putting up an argument Lord.. I was just happy that I was not feeling any pain, the moment 2009 came in.. Everything comes with a price.. Haha! Isn't that ironic.. (inis.. tawa.. iyak..).. kase naman Ann eh.. di naman kaylangan mangyari to eh diba.. nagtatapang tapangan ka kase eh.. Kasi naman eh.. Ang daya.. No fair.. Lord naman po kasi eh.. You are a great creator.. Creating beautiful things.. Giving a chance for perfect eyes to see everything grand.. A mind that is capable of providing great imaginations and endless possibilities for anything.. I guess these things.. are a couple of spices He sprinkled upon us to make life a lot flavorful.. It's all a matter of control, He said.. (I heard Him).. I thought I could handle it.. I wasn't strong enough.. Haha.. Lord naman po kase eh.. Daya.. Hmph! Okay.. Another test I guess.. Great.. E kase naman po eh.. How could one resist..
Electric..
Blurry..
Hazy..
Other adjectives too complicated to mention..
A loser once again.. Lord, You dear tricky Lord.. I don't want to sound condescending pero.. Pwede po ba mejo make it easy on me.. hehe.. ang galing talaga kasi non..

Wala lang to

As I was sitting outside enjoying the cool breeze from a normal afternoon, thoughts from everywhere came crashing in my head in an instant. I could not start to grasp one specific thought to ponder. My brain got so busy and now.. My heart seems to take most of it seriously. I've been drowning myself over senseless endeavors and been very childish for a while, when I'm supposed to think of what really matters. Nothing really mattered to me.. I take things as they come.. I forgot I'm all grown up and that there are greater things in this world which we really need to pay attention to.. Like world peace and hunger..(wow).. and I realized.. I can make things happen pala. Come to think of it.. I am very good at making things happen. Things I really.. really want to happen..

The thing is, I am so in love with my family.. I haven't noticed that before. I never said it once.. I mean.. I did said I love them.. I just thought.. I never meant it enough. I don't usually hold grudges in my heart cos grudges wear people down. When they don't have the strength to be angry anymore.. One tends to give up.. Even the body wears out.. While as to when one is happy.. You can't seem to get enough of the energy your wholeness fits in to.. (not making sense?)

What I'm trying to say is.. I hate how people do mean stuff to other people. It makes me want to change things. I love a lot and when people do mean stuff to people who matters to me.. I want to get even by providing these people stuff they are being deprived of.. I don't even care if I'm doing it right (playing the hero), all I care about is that I am playing on the team that I was assigned to be in..

Went to my friends yesterday (naki fiesta). Great conversation na walang sense.. Tawanan for reasons that may appear of no importance to others.. I learned that the guy.. my best friend loved.. (who by the way made a great mistake hurtin besy) is making a come-back sa life nya again.. I hated that guy.. I remember how I wanted to punch his face til it bled to my enjoyment. I wanted to confront the guy cos I once knew how it feels to be f*ckin cheated on (hmm..??) and yes.. I know how it felt to be so sorry for cheating too. To which one hurts more.. you decide na lang..

I confronted the guy.. I asked him "mahal mo sha?" Nag pipigil nako. I was so ready to hear his "No.." about to nag and hit him afterwards but then.. He said.. "Oo.. wala ako dito kung hinde.." Still not convinced.. I was gonna slap him still, was grinning with a very doutful and furious look.. but then he said.. "Teka.. Hayaan mo ko mag-paliwanag.."

I did.. with a great control over my fist.. (Skinny man ako.. Palaban to noh!)
He explained a lot of things.. and surprisingly.. I kind of believed him.. My loyalty to my friends is strong.. But I know a sincere statement when I hear it. Being the idealist that I am is a very crappy disadvantage to my persona. To sum it all up.. they talked.. and I believe, may continuation pa yon.. I don't know if I made the right decision. Dapat ba I controlled the situation? I somehow knew kasi na she would be very happy kung mang yayari yung gusto nya.. I told her na lang.. I couldn't prevent bad things to happen.. I can't keep you from being happy.. All I could do is give her the benefit of the doubt.. trust her.. and if ever she fails.. I would be there for her.. I even told her.. Aabsent talaga ko.. I will always find time for her..

Moving on..

The mother of my father.. I mean my grandmother is sick.. (seems there is a little hostility?? a lot maybe..haha! wala noh!!) She's there sa bed nya.. Resting lang.. My tita is watching over her.. Dalawa lang sila magkapatid ni Tatay.. Si Tatay? He's being the great Tatay that he is.. You know what? Let me tell you something about him. My father is my hero. He's my ideal man. A good provider.. Not that funny minsan kasi mejo seryoso.. Pag nag jojoke, natatawa ako kasi minsan di ko ma-gets.. Kaya natatawa ko sa sarili ko.. May mga banat din yon na matitindi, kala moh!.. Mapapa isip ka talaga. He's really witty.. Madaming alam.. He likes to read.. Mabutingting sa mga kung anu anong mga bagay. He has his own room nga of kung anu ano.. But none of us gets the chance to see what's inside the mysterious room of the unknown.. I mean.. Off limits kami eh.. Siguro gumagawa sha ng space ship nya don.. haha.. Malamang sa kanya ko na mana yung pagiging mabuting ting.. I remember kase, there are times I could fix broken electronic stuff sa bahay.. Like pag sira yung dvd player.. Pag sira yung fan.. or yung door.. basta.. I wonder how I could fix them.. La naman ako alam sa electronics.. Blue wire? Red wire? BOOM!

If given the chance to be a daughter of some other guy.. could I have chosen to be an Ayala.. a Marcos.. or a Hilton.. perhaps a Windsor. Haha!! no way.. I'd still be a DIMAPASOC! Proud to be! May not have that much dinero or popularity.. My tatay spoiled me in ways I could not complain about.. I am a princess in my Tatay's, the King, own life.. And with that.. the princess will also be the general of the King's army.. or whatever you call the one who protects the king.. I would fight his battle.. to my very last breath. May have been a prodigal daughter doing things I clumsily chose to.. May have hurt the King unintentionally.. God knows.. Ay talaga naman.. Basta.. Naku... And how I wolud be crushed and burned alive if my family gets hurt.. Lalo na Tatay ko.. Ay! T*ng *na talaga.. Susubok ka pa lang sabog na bituka mo.. (ang morbid) pero something like that.. My father is the wind beneath my wings.. You get what I'm saying? I tend not to care about other people lalu na pag binabastos yung mga taong sobrang importante sakin.

I'm sorry God if I have been welcoming all this fury. I don't mean not to care. I just hate how people can be so selfish. I learned a lot earlier.. I did not like what I learned.. I've been hearing bad stuff na before.. But I was not minding them.. My lolo probably knew what to do. I don't like hating people.. especially pag ganyan.. Kase naman.. Saktan mo ko, sure I'll take it.. Kill me if you can.. Just don't mess with my family.. You wouldn't have my sympathy..

I'm too smart to feel this much grudges over stuff I could not explain bluntly in words.. basta.. I understand na I'm being insensible.. I'm sorry.. It's just my nature.. Reaction lang ng mga nag mamahal..

Forgive me Lord kung ganito nafefeel ko.. Guide me po.. I know everything will be all right in the end.. Please take good care of me.. So that I could take care of them->my family, friends and people who matters to me.. Please protect them for always.. and yung mga nag mamahal sa kanila.. Para po marami pa mag protect sa kanila..

Just want to share this

Got a rewarding job you know.. Spendin a lot of time with new friends.. Kinda few.. but it's the quality that counts.. been havin a lot of that lately.. havin fun makes me miss the person I get to spend most of my FUN times with before.. My besy..

Let me tell you the story of how our friendship all began..

When I was in highschool, I had my mind set on going to UST. I wanted all the good things I was hearing about the school.. Got intimidated cos I believed I wouldn't fit in.. Stuck to the thought that my brains wouldn't be able to catch up with the intense kasipagan and katalinuhan that people might have displayed within the vicinity.Planned on getting into AC sa makati.. but the course I wanted wasn't offered there.. I was so immature and I got into LCC for no deep reason.. hehe.. My friends wanted to go there.. so I did too.. how lame could one be.. haha! I remember.. Ayaw pa ni tatay dun ako mag school kase it was far from home and lagi daw may raly. I remembered how I threw myself sa sofa cos we were arguing about that.. He wanted me to go to AC eh I don't like kasi una.. Malapit lang and I have no friends going into that school.. Kaya, in the end.. Spoiled little brat got it her way.. again..

My first day in college.. exciting.. complete ang gamit ng lola mo.. New bag.. New shoes.. Everything's new.. Just like highschool.. But this time.. Little bird is out of the cage.. No more school bus.. No more hatid sundo! Yeah boy! I'm free..

One ordinary day sa school.. I met her.. Jonah.. A very smart girl na everytime would speak sa classroom.. I couldn't help but listen to what she has to say.. I pictured myself sa kanya.. I admired how she could easily express her ideas effortlessly while I, on the other hand.. Tends to stutter a lot.. And gets in trouble pa every time I speak my mind kase.. Hindi ko nasasala yung thoughts ko.. (mashado madumi ata..joke..) But her.. Grabe.. ang galing.. I admired her.. All the things I want to say.. Lumalabas sa bibig nya.. Flawless pa.. Sha ang gagawin kong spokes person if ever I would be needing one.

She belongs to another group just like I belong to another.. One time.. no professor.. Sobrang haba ng vacant.. We decided to search for a place na pwede mag hang out yung buong class.. Well.. kung sino yung mga present that time.. Konti lang kami eh.. We explored the streets of Mendiola.. Ayan na.. I remember exactly how silly we were kasi.. We don't know where we're going and parehas kami nag mamagaling.. Pretending we know exactly what we both we're doing.. When we suddenly notice nasa middle na kami ng intersection.. We crossed the street diagonally.. as in tinahak namin ang kagitnaan ng Mendiola at Legarda.. Natatawa talaga ko cos para kaming mga bata.. Well.. bata pa naman talaga kami non eh.. Mejo aged na nga lang ngayon ng konti lang naman eh.. haha.. I remembered..

"Oh.. ayan.. teka.. tara.. teka.. ayan.. ayan.. oh.. go.. teka.. ayan na.. teka.." hahaha!

I know subconsciously, we were both scared.. Di lang kami nagpa halata.. Sort of.. showing na don't worry-Matapang ako-I'll protect you sa pag tawid kind of way.. Tapos.. bigla na lang.. we held hands.. And that's when I knew.. Something great is about to start.. haay.. I miss her..

We both managed to cross the street naman alive and complete.. And I can still remember the very first place we found.. It was in Mickey's Billiards.. The very first time I was able to play the game. So amateurish, I could've sworn people were giggling behind us. E kasi marunong na ko ngayon, and each time I see a newb playing with their plangketa so kakaiba.. I remember nung kami din ganon.. haha.. whew!

We spent a lot of time together after that. In a special way, I found someone who I can share my interest with.. We jive.. We mesh well together.. We've been through a lot and we shared a lot of things together.. We joined an organization na.. We've been involved with a lot of cat-fights.. There were down moments but.. No worries.. We've been apart for some time, but when our eyes would meet.. Instant connection.. Automatic attraction.. Hay.. One of the few whom I shared the best conversations with.. was with her..

I remember pa.. when we're with each other.. That is the only time na legal mang lait.. We make fun of ourselves and others.. We laugh hysterically about things we say.. Many times natutulala kami parehas.. we are together and we enjoy each moment even wala kami pinag uusapan.. we stare stupidly at anything in front of us.. then we laugh for no particular reason at all.. then.. silence afterwards.. then.. back to staring na..hahaay.. there was a time pa nga na we ran away from home.. for no reason at all din.. Just to be with each other.. Tambay kung kanikaninung house.. good times.. Marami na kami napad padan..

Grabe.. We may not be able to share a lot of firsts and last.. anything.. like sexual affairs.. (haha! magka iba kase yung preference diba?? hehe..) We have proven ourselves na with each other.. she will always be there for me and i would do the same for her.. and more.. she is there to understand me palagi.. and she knows pano ko bumawi.. My besy.. she puts up with me.. She loves me and she takes good care of me..she is my lawyer.. she fights my battle.. ayaw nya may nagawa or even mag isip ng masama sakin.. and ganun din ako sa kanya.. and kahit we are apart.. kahit just a text away lang.. ang dami na magic nangyayari samin pag nag uusap kame.. I know she cares about me.. I'm very grateful for having her in my life..

Yung downside ng fun is you get to miss people you used to goof around with.. eh tapos recently.. I don't get to spend much time with them pa.. I miss them.. Pero this Sunday, there would be a get together daw.. yey.. makaka sama ko na naman sila.. Excited na ko.. Lam mo ba the time na sobrang broken ako.. sha yung pinaka bida sa harap ko.. I'm seeing her now.. Up until now.. na gguilty pa rin ako sa absence ko last time.. besy.. Love kita.. and I would never intentionally bail out on you.. Sorry ulet huh.. I hope I could make it up to you.. Para kasing kulang pa yung pag bawi bawi ko.. Great thing about her is.. everything..

Couldn't hate her.. Love ko sha sobra.. If I were a guy.. na type sha.. and hindi nya ko bestfriend.. I would do everything to have her.. or at least.. make her stay..

We may not have a perfect friendship.. But I surely have the bestest friend in the world.. and I'm so proud of that..

Missing Analyne, Trev, Pipoy, Alvin, Ana and Snek also.. hehe.. People who tolerate my kababawans.. The guys na anjan when I'm wasted and trashed.. Masaya kahit wala mashado magawa.. Contented knowing they are just around.. Mahaba habang bonding to.. Yey!

A dose of my favorite state

Have you ever thought about flying to the states? Picturing yourself roaming around the most powerful country in the world? All the liberty.. all the freedom..

I don't..

I like where I am today. I'm contented just cos I am here.. I enjoy everything around me.. I have everything I need right here.. like my job for example.. I like my work space.. I enjoy talking to people from the US.. Some are grateful.. Some can be rude.. It's all fine.. Couldn't complain..

Talk about the US.. I have one favorite state.. gives me indescribable pleasure whenever calls come in.. The state's Florida.. Actually, I don't want to think about it.. I try to dodge calls from the place.. But you know what.. the force is quite stronger on the other end.. I get a lot of calls from the place.. I tend to respond in an instant.. It drives me crazy when I try to ignore calls from that state.. It seems to me like it's my very own happy place.. Only it's bawal.. I mean.. malabo pala.. hehe..

Couldn't stop thinking about my favorite state.. spendin time doon.. haay.. My sunshine state.. (I love sunny days pa naman).. Chill lang.. I'm even considering going there pala.. or be taken there.. Thinkin about what the place may do for me.. What it has to offer.. Just thinkin about everything.. gives such warmth and ease to my senses.. Brings me to cloud nine.. plus a lot of goosebumps and tummy ache.. yung masarap na feeling ah.. basta.. I wish I could come to Florida with just a whim of my heart.. Such a perfectly great place to be in.. What adds up to the craziness is.. it's like I've been there before.. I have the smell.. the vision.. all in my head.. wana be there.. but really.. I can't.. cos it's far and.. it's hard to get there..

Hay nako Florida.. I wonder what it would be like walking on your grounds.. Feeling the breeze.. Sniffin the air.. for as long as I could.. Wonderin how it would feel like to be where you are.. Thinking about all the chances and possibilities.. haay.. That state.. my favorite state in the world..

I don't want this day to end really.. and I can't wait for the next day to come.. Ever since I learned about Florida.. I just got to have a dose of it.. every single day.. even in my thoughts lang.. Calls please.. hehe..

I couldn't believe that I would be able to feel this light..

That I don't have feelings for hatred, anger or fright..

I couldn't help but compile all the rhyme..

Even when I am committing a beautiful crime..

I bet this is what they call euphoria..

An instance when you get amnesia..

From all the sorrow agony and pain..

Provided by one so cruel, vile and so vain..

I wonder how I could get out of this state..

Cant believe I am accepting my fate..

Missin you already oist, can't you tell..

Missin everything including your smell..

Bad.. Bad.. Bad.. I just got better..

Crazy at times and definitely sober..

The heart doesn't play tricks and so shouldn't you..

For I don't have a chance if I try to fight too..

Keep me away from emotions and I will be just fine..

Don't mess with the mind or attempt to cross the line..

You know I can be so naive, gentle and very kind

But I also know how to mess up your mind..

Do you see how silly this girlie can be..

Not minding everythig the eye could see..

Did I mention I couldn't ever stop smiling..

It's cos of that little extra something..

I have no idea of what I am talking about.. I don't know what I'm saying.. I'm so silly.. I'm distracted by a big bag of confusion.. Weird thing is.. it's making me smile.. making me laugh.. making me high.. I don't like it.. I know what I want.. (I think).. I don't want anything.. Not anytime soon.. I don't like anything.. I'm good just the way I am.. I need a good slappin in the face every time I'm stuck up smiling like a retard..

I try every time I fail.. I lose every time I fall.. I try every time I lose.. I lose each time.. And I haven't won yet.. That's cos I'm a push-over.. I try to understand but I still don't get it.. I try to be nice but somehow.. cruel things happen to me.. ain't that a cliche.. Should I participate in the dog eat dog kind of world?? nah.. di bale na.. What state am I really in.. I'm confused.. hehe.. can anyone help me?

I'm very rusty today.. Can't start anything sensible.. I don't know why I'm stuck up.. I'm not very productive.. I'm just smilin like a crazy person.. Even when I'm lying down.. Smilin for no particular reason at all.. I don't like it.. or maybe I do.. no.. maybe I don't.. Maybe this is what happens after the worst case scenario.. a really bad situation.. You just burst out a lot of happy endorphins.. In tagalog.. nababaliw na ata ako.. hehe..

Yah.. (smile).. sure I miss you too..
huh??
forgot the medications.. sorry..

Teka san na ba ko? Florida na ba to.. Thanks.. dito po muna ko.. I like it here..

what am I saying??????

So far.. So good a start..

Where's a good pen when you need one. I missed blogging. Grabe..what a week. I didn't know I would be spending my first week like that.

New year's eve, went to the apartment of my friend with some guys from work to celebrate the birthday of one of them. Went there twice already, the first time was a bit scary cos it was really close to a place where I wouldn't wish to be found dead. Enjoyed the day and my co-workers were a bit carried away by the whole situation I was putting them into. I was teasing everyone and playing cupid to..haha! Basta.. Lahat sila.. tawa ulet.. haha! Kaso.. ako una naka tulog.. Ayon, when I woke up it was 11:30 na.. I jumped out of the room and immediately.. ran downstairs pero ala talagang masakyan sa 711. I went back up and took the opportunity to welcome 2009. I was there sa terrace and nag tatalon like crazy. Sarap ng feeling sumabay sa ingay. After that, I headed home. Sobrang scary yung daan.. It was my first time to see the streets of Manila like that. Hardly any cars. No human in sight..hehe.. It was like a real life Silent Hill eksena.. Yung driver pa medyo eerie looking.. joke lang..

Upon landing home.. Quick XOXO from the family, a quick bath and quite a lot of time enjoying the food. Hmm.. I headed for work afterwards.. and that is where it all began.. huh? anu daw?

I have no complains towards my work. There may be foul-speaking callers.. A little trouble navigating my way through the computer.. may not know how to solve every single inquiry.. A lot of stutters and dead air.. Hmm.. I'm quite getting the hang of it naman.. Especially when you get to spend it with people who are very interesting and fun to be with.. (parang highschool.. "fun to be with" ba hehe).

I thought. 2008 was full of surprises and a lot of things from that year, broke me off into pieces. I was a bit out of focus for a while and my life's direction was bound to nowhere. I have been looking at my life from a historian's point of view. I got so clingy to the memories and I couldn't help recalling every single detail even if most of them were "uncool" and not that healthy for me.. crazy thing is.. I tend to crave for more information and the more hurtful the blah-blah is.. the more I lingered and savor the moments. Nyaks.. eng-eng talaga noh? Parang..
"Sige! Saktan mo pa ko!!!" hehe..

I never hated that year though.. There are a lot of unobvious blessings that came along with all the bitterness. Old friends still there no matter what.. New crazy friends.. my Family.. being the family that they are.. A job that suits my lifestyle.. at meron pang iba.. You know what they say.. "When one aspect in your life starts to fall apart.. another part blossoms.." yan ba yun sabi nila?.. sabi ko lang ata yan.. Basta something like that..

I have fallen into a pit wherein I have allowed myself to be ravished by creatures of the unknown.. (lalim..)
I have been very unfair to myself..

"I'm sorry myself.." hehe..

I think it's time to get a hold of my emotions. It is my worst enemy, you know. And now that I am okay.. and so intouch with my happiness.. lagot.. mag kaka meron akong bagong kaaway.. It's my wild side.. the naughty and playful girl who always has a way of contending with the angel that I am.. and also.. Since I'm single and I have a young heart.. hala na.. See.. the thing is.. I love beer.. and when I've had too much of it.. I'm like Charlie Baileygates.. familiar ba? basta.. Kaya nga it's nice to be around guys that you can trust yourself with.. People who will respect you.. even if you try to violate them.. Hay..

Off the record.. (at i-publish mo.. patawa..).. Hmm.. Panu ba..

Let me tell you something serious..

I know a girl kasi.. She's been very different lately..

Teka.. Hmm.. Ganto na lang..

Deep is the reverie of one so fair,

Body so fragile with just a defiant stare,

Temptress as defined by her character,

Fiery is the soul and self's in danger.

Is there a way of controlling the passion?
For the heart can't face its destruction,
The laity may condemn and derive,
An angle why love may not survive.

Currently evasive and a bit hesitant,

Caroused and quite flamboyant,
Keeping distance for a possible affliction,
Venture in focus and self preservation.

Joke lang.. Just trying to sound smart.. wag na ituloy kaka bashful.. Huuiy.. ang hirap when your vocabulary is very limited.. I could not imply what I want to.. Hayaan na nga natin yan.. Mukha naman may sense diba.. So basically.. I just wanted to say.. I don't want to be bad.. (labo noh?)

Anyway.. I'm welcoming New Year 2009.. I hope this one is more prosperous.. as well as the years to come..

Lord, thank you po for being the Father that You are to all of us.. I know that everything You do.. You do it because You love us.. Paki ingatan po yung mga taong nag mamahal sa family ko.. Please keep my family and friends safe.. Help me to excell in what I do.. or at least be better.. Thank you for everything and Dear God.. Wag ka po mapapagod saming lahat huh.. Lalo na sakin.. I know I can be very maldita at times.. But you know.. Mahal din naman po kita eh.. See You later..

Updates (may comments lang..)

Been a while since I jotted down stuff about yours truly. Let me recall the last thoughts I remembered.

There was a concert last December 20th.. Parokya ni Edgar showed off their crafty moves. It was good.. but not as great as Parokya ni Ferds.. hehe..

I can't believe I'm smiling stupidly at this moment. I was so dumb-found sleepy and tired from all the excitement this New Year 2009 has to offer. I was expecting a particular someone to spend the new year with.. but unbelievably.. I get to smell it with the person.. (haha! anung smell? spend diba dapat..) I never thought would be there.. Happy New Year to you.. Everyaonee of fyou (huhoooh..spelling mo bru!)

Teka..sleep muna ko..antooooek pa ko medyo.. may pasok ap ko maya.. wait lant huh.. hilo pan...

to tbe continuedd..

wait lang.. laseing pa ang Roan natin..hehe.. araw arawin dawo ba.. pahing a po myna tayo.. (di halata..let's keep this blog this way..we have an evidence on file..the girl is a hazard to herself.. a bit sober..funny..)