The one that I wrote in my notebook

***I own a lot of notepads at home. Every single one is filled up with entries that is of no importance to many. But that is me. I love to write. I am a freak who like to remember everything I have thought about. Yuks! Is it even normal? I believe so..

Being a freak is really complicated. Okay if I am a freak..so is everyone else! Hmph..I would like to think of myself as a unique individual with a better perception in life than most people. A person who has established a perfect world in her mind..clearly justifying my freakiness.. I just think that I really have great thoughts..and I find it very difficult to match my great mind to my actions and the way I speak. I always come up with great plans, jokes, kindness, beautiful things.. Only, things don’t come out right or how I would have imagined it to be. I have a really weak mind and whatever coordination..(mind&body..mind&feet).. My mind often does all the assignment but seems to forget to have it submitted to the teacher. Maybe this was from the concussion I endured when I was six..no I think I was seven..Oh, God..How do I resolve this then? My memory is really killing me. That is why I want to write things down and hope some time in the future, I may understand myself...and others may see that I'm really sweet and kind and hot..haha! And by hot, I meant funny, seriously...nothing is wrong with me.. I just care too much and I pay a lot of attention to others' stupid innuendos. I care too much about how others would feel. I believe people so easily, which makes it hard for me to distinguish the sincere ones from the not. I often get caught in a trap where people gets to ravage me and do pretty much all the mean things they wish to do, while I cry helplessly (and look so sexy whenever I do, by the way)

This has got to stop..I have to be rough! Mean! I want to be a bad-ass! A browbeat! The Bully! The devil who wears Prada..in my case..Landmark Shoes..This is a dog eat dog world! The survival of the fittest and I have to..

Wait..Who am I kidding..I can't be that pathetic. Its nicer to be at a place where everybody is at a raucous while I stay serene, pretty, happy and really GAY..

Doesn't matter how I am. I'm a resilient baby girl. I pity those who underestimate me. They are quite missing out a lot. I have so much to give, and I know that if they knew the whole lot of me..they'd be begging for more.

So, enough of the riddles and enigmas, I don't really know what I am talking about. As I told you before..I just write whatever comes out of my mind..I don't know what I just said..or maybe I do..

It doesn't matter..

I ROCK!!

(grin)