i'm starting to lose it

"Just when I thought I wouldn't give in.. Just when I thought I had it all under control.. Just when I thought I am invincible.. I met you.. My sweetest downfall.." -Roan

Smiling stupidly right now. Shaking my head and showing my being a sport.. Even if I don't have anything in my hands.. Hands up to life! What can I do? I lost against it na naman. Shows that I have no control over destiny.. which by the way.. I thought I do.. Emotions.. Other people's twisted opinions.. F*ckin LoVe! These are sick unconquerable dimensions that I shouldn't even dream of invading.. better yet.. dare of exploring.. Cos I'm weak.. Defenseless.. My weapons are no match for the ghastly beast always ready to ravage my sanity. Haha! Come to think of it.. What weapons do I have? Smiling cos I don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost. San na ba ako when I was gnarling over my ex? I was better off with that kind of misery eh. Hehe.. Sorry kid.. Di ko talaga balak madamay ka. Funny.. I'm about to use "IF ONLY", but why pa? What for.. shaking head out of defeat and confusion.. couldn't think.. Don't know what to say.. Shoot.. I'm lost.. Lost my spontaneity.. I know though that I'm confused.. and that I don't know where the pieces are.. Where to pick them up.. I'm out.. God.. Where am I.. I don't know what's happening.. Where to now.. Where to start? What's there to think about.. How do I deal with out.. I don't know.. What to hope for.. Who and what to believe in.. What I ought to do from where.. Where to start.. What am I dealing with.. What do we have here.. Whtat I need to understand.. I'd take anything from anyone I guess..

Questions.. Questions..

Oh Lord.. I don't even know what to ask..