A star?

I saw a star earlier this morning as I was walking on the highway on the way home. It was after dawn and still a little dark. The wind was a little bit chilling. I had my jacket on. I was alone. I was staring at the pretty lavender sky and marveled by the bright shinny.. glittering thing right there as I walk along. I was alone and that star was the only company I was having.. except for some fast cars on the road and a couple of silly guys teasing me.. Cute college freestylers.. I thought they were drunk.. They were in their car with loud music on.. Anyway..I said I was alone.. And I was looking at the star.. I was so dazzled by its beauty.. I couldn't care less about the things around me.. I just watched in admiration.. The star gave me comfort and a feeling of ease..

Suddenly, as i come closer to the star.. I noticed that it was moving away.. I was baffled.. I didn't wanted it to go.. I wanna look at it and stare at it for some more.. and I came to realize.. It wasn't a star.. It was a freakin plane, and up to now.. I'm still not even sure if it was ever a plane. These eyes.. A bit like the heart huh.. Believe what seemingly appears to be.. And feel whatever it does, instantly..

I guess things don't always appear to be what they are. They are what they are because that is what we wanted them to be.. We are blinded by our own desires.. realizing later on, that we just have to accept things as they are and that we have to deal with the fact that the world can be very deceitful. Also, that there are stuff that we can't have cos they have to be somewhere else where we're not.. (huh?) We can't change the world.. but i guess we can make a difference.

Life is full of surprises.. I f*ckin hate surprises really. I feel like I deserve to know everything.. If not.. even a little heads-up.. some figures that I'm gonna be f*cked over by stuff or people.. little warnings so that I may be able to contain the situation. I don't want to stand stupidly not knowing what to do when a freakishly new situation comes up my b*tt. I have to do something. I can't be helpless all the time. It's really not fair. I'm a good girl.. I try to be nice.. I protect people I love.. I care too much.. Wouldn't it be nice if people would care back.. (toink!)

Truth is.. I suck.. I trust people so easily and things can be tricky. I am on the process of self-redemption. I'm tryin to accept my fate. I'm tryin to pick up the pieces and throw them out the recycle bin. Doin pretty good at it too. I don't know. Little things mean so much to me. Every detail.. Everything around me matters. There are people very much willing to love me.. Take good care of me.. Make me smile.. Give me gifts.. Chocolates.. Promises made to be broken.. hehe.. You know.. the usual.. But this f*ckin thing inside just wont go away. It's like.. a part of me that I can't let go.. Like an arm.. or your liver or a kneecap that you want to remove.. But just can't.. cos it's gonna hurt and it's costly and it's gonna look weird to the doctors too.. (hehe)

Okay.. to sum it all up.. I hope things, you know.. situation.. circumstances.. and most especially.. people.. becomes fair and truthful and sincere. I just wish everyone in this planet become happy all at the same time.. So no one would ever ever have to lie or feel like they need to manipulate other people's emotions just cos they aren't happy. I wish everyone all the happiness in the universe. So0o0o0o happy.. they'd feel like they need to make others happy too.

With that, I therefore conclude that I am still a little jiggly.. hehe..
(did I even made a clear point in relation with the title? hehe..)