Crazy coz I'm hurt

I'm a little bit out of my head right now.. Mentally and emotionally challenged currently.. Trying to fight every pathetic hurtful feeling overpowering my heart.. I am recently acting insane and as if I am drunk even without a drop of liquor in my mouth.. Oh, wait.. I have been drinking for consecutive days after the loss.. I don't want to love that ill-mannered, foul tongued love of my life anyway right.. But I still do.. But I don't want to.. But I still do.. Am I tired? Yeah.. very much.. I am pathetic for holding on to the memories.. D*mn memories!! Why wont you go away!! I am forgetful and everybody knows I have ulyaninism.. huh.. This feelings.. It's breaking me down.. I know.. It has been like six years and three months lang naman diba.. so What's all the fuss about right.. I'ts not like we're married or anything.. We don't even have kids naman diba.. I wont fight na nga.. I'll cry.. Until there's nothing left.. And by the time I see the one.. Oh boy.. She's /He's gonna be so lucky.. She's/He's gonna be so loved.. Oh baby.. I'm gonna treat her/him so right.. That person will never ever wanna let me go..