Resolution 2010

The New Year started and I have failed to pick out resolutions for myself.. They've always worked out for me.. Gota fix things.. Again.. Hay.. I'm all covered with sh*t.. It's not too late though, right? Hay.. Many times I've wished to become a better person.. Like right now most especially.. this little life right here.. She's depending on mine..

I recalled days ago, I was so furious with my father.. We had a lil argument and I was so furious.. Someone's also calling on the phone.. What a mess.. I left Riane for a second to release my anger.. and when I got back, she was at the edge of the bed.. She turned over.. Just right there.. She could have fallen.. God, I cried so hard.. I was so sorry and my brains just exploded.. the thought of what might have happened to her.. all because I was so full of fury.. All these hate.. all this contempt.. It might hurt her.. I can't be emotional all the time just because people are jerks.. I'm gona kill myself if something bad ever happens to her because of my carelessness.. I have to be strong.. I can't take chances when it concerns the little one.. I guess I have to accept that unlike some lucky ones.. I'm surrounded by people who, if not are selfish pricks and a-holes.. are people I am forced to deal with whether I like it or not.. and even though I love them.. and they too loves me.. somehow.. they are as human as I am, and every once in a while.. they'll mess up and they just wont give a f*ck about others.. including myself..
*Deep heavy sigh..*

How can LOVE..a supposedly wonderful feeling, destroy a perfectly sane being.. I know, I am not all that, but, I would have made it just on my own.. I'm such a weakling.. How do you think will I be able to withstand all these nerve wrecking situations I am caught up with all the time.. I'm not that competitive pa.. Not that I'm a quitter or anything like that.. I guess, I figured.. what's the point of battling it out.. If it's meant to be.. Then be it..

Anyway.. This is the life I was given.. Tried building walls.. just aren't too thick enough.. Tried to avoid trouble.. been putting myself into too much of em.. Tried to fight the rest off.. turns out.. I'm just the regular Popeye without mi spinach! And the market's out of spinach.. Silly aren't I.. There's no way of getting around em boguses.. So instead of complaining non-stop.. I'm just gona have to come up with a better action plan.. This time, I'm gona TRY to really work it out.. here goes..

RESOLUTION # 1 REFRAIN FROM USING THE F WORD WHEN YOU BLOG and all em other cuss too.. Come to think of it.. When did I ever learned to say bad words.. When did I stopped? I did stopped.. Hmm.. In my defense though, I don't really say em out loud.. I just write em down.. Anyway.. gota cut it out too.. Enough with the bad mouthing

RESOLUTION # 2 WAKE UP EARLY AND BE PUNCTUAL
haha! Seriously.. Who am I kidding? haay.. I kill myself sometimes.. does this one count? okay.. we'll try this one.. hoooh..

RESOLUTION # 3 BE POSITIVE.. IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY

I will try to use the words AT LEAST as often as I can.. Look at everything in its positive angle maybe.. as to the biggest lesson learned from last year.. Never be afraid to take a chance, otherwise, life will happen and the moment will just pass you by.. along with all the good things that may have came along with it.

Riane though, is another story.. She'll always be a positive little thing no matter how worse the situation is.. No questions about my angel.

RESOLUTION # 3 SPEND MAJOR TIMES WITH FRIENDS
I know, I should be socializing.. Will rekindle old friendship too.. Missed em quite a lot.. Who knows.. I might meet the PERSON of my dreams through them.. *person?* hehe.. And yes, I know.. I wont ever turn my back on my little one.. She's my life.. But like any other, I too have my own lil needs.. Will build new bridges too.. And friends are truly God's way of saying, I never left you.. Huhu..

RESOLUTION # 4 WORK ON TRUST ISSUES

Basically, what I need to work on is.. myself, I think.. I need to trust myself.. Trust that I can handle manipulation.. Trust that I have the power over my emotions.. Trust that I shall not fail.. Trust that I will never ever trully be alone.. For I am and forever will be the emblemed in the hearts of many who ever shared a breath of air with me.. *Huh?.. Anu na sinasabi ko?* Trust.. hmm.. TRUST? owkei.. Trust then.. I should stand by my principles.. Oh and shoot.. don't let em silly songs affect your mood.. Memories are really evil noh? They are teases.. They play with your mind.. And I have a dirty mind pa naman..

RESOLUTION # 5 GO ON WITH THE ELIMINATION PROCESS

There's no reason why I should hold on to silly thoughts and what ifs and what might have beens.. Most especially when they are draining out the fluids from my brain. Let em silly thoughts go!

There's no point of waiting for the right one.. If by chance I spot someone I really like.. I will go for him.. Grab him by the neck and kiss the sanity out of him.. or her.. If he turns out to be a jerk.. So what? They can all be jerks sometimes.. If he turns out to be a good guy.. That would be great..

Uhh.. I'm not that liberated.. haha.. Good thought though.. good thought.. I'll consider it for a really really worthy fella.. or felony.. huhuy.. Not even.. Joke lang.. Nevertheless, I have discretion over my actions.. Responsible choices.. I hope I don't get another.. who'll waste me again.. us..

I don't know how to continue..
I just went blank.