cOuLdn'T aSk fOr mOrE

I woke up earlier with a brand new perspective in my life. I feel so light actually. God.. My heart is so overwhelmed by this strange feeling.. It seems like something inside me will burst out.. and I feel like crying too. I don't understand why all of a sudden, I am surrounded by everything positive. I thank God for this undescribable contentment I am feeling.

As always.. I am just curious to know how this magic happened. I know though that when good things happen.. one shouldn't ask WHY?.. but then again.. no harm asking.. HOW? instead right.. =)

I remember this line from a movie I watched days ago. It goes like this "When you get bit by a snake, you're supposed to suck the poison out." And yes.. that's what I did. It took a long time to do it cos I was kinda hopin it would fade out on its own but it didn't.. so I had to force it out.. and goodness.. it has been done alright! I'm smiling all the time cos things are where they should be finally.. I have the grandest family.. the bestest buddies, my little cutie Riane and a great big bag of chances.. chances to grow.. chances to be happy.. and who knows.. the chance to meet the love of my life.. hay.. I also saw myself in the mirror lately.. my God truly blessed me.. haha! I always thought.. people get what they deserve in life and by all the painful past I've been through.. just proves that I'm just that darn stubborn and impatient to see the wonders around me.. and I deserve to get hurt for that.

A fella told me.. "You're just lucky you didn't end up the other way around.." Wow.. so true.. I mean.. like I said.. I have all the chances in the world right now. I have a grand future that awaits me. All I have to do is look forward to what good fate will bring me.. Well yes.. I know.. I'm still not Ms. Goody Two-Shoes.. A little maldita side kicking in every now and then.. But I'm getting it on real well. And yes.. some people will try to screw me up real hard.. but by now.. I know how God loves me so much.. and I've realized that He has been hitting me with His shoes for some time now and I'm just not paying much attention to the hit..

Finding every reason to smile and laugh really isn't that hard when you get to it. Like this morning.. I saw this guy at work wearing a statement shirt saying "KONG is in my pants" hahaha! I doubt it.. haha! Goodness.. sure.. whatever makes you feel happy dude.. whew.. oh and our dog Dirty.. she was smiling at me.. haha! With all the teeth showing like that of a human being.. creepy I know.. but it's really funny too.. I went home having the exact fare.. two rides of jeepney totaling to P14.00.. and guess what.. I'm still making head turns as I walk all the way home.. If they only knew.. may baby na akuuu noh! hehe..

Thinking..

Fears? Yup.. there are still a few.. but with all I've been through.. I know how to take them out of me.. or at least.. I know how to handle them. Like everyone else.. I'm afraid to fade.. And with all the things I've been realizing.. I can't leave just yet.. I've so much more to do.. So many things to share.. So many things to learn.. So many things to see.. and so many people to touch..

I want to go to all the wonderful places in the country.. and I'd like to take her there with me. I'll take her camping.. I'll take her on road trips, maybe when I get a car.. We'll go wherever the road takes us.. Maybe I'll take her to the beach.. I could just imagine Riane and me on white sands in our cute two piece bikinis.. Boy.. We're gona look so fierce in them.. Good thing I'm a good swimmer too.. I'll teach her how to.. or maybe, we could find someone to teach us better.. Hay.. I wish time would slow down a bit.. coz I'd like to savour every minute of my life with her.. cos when she grows up.. she'll have her own life and I won't pull her back from growing on her own. I'd like to take every moment with her while she's little and then maybe when she's the same age as me.. She'll miss me.. and maybe smile as she browse through our pictures together.. *I miss her already..* I have all the reasons to enjoy this lifetime.. And I wana live.. It's wonderful here.. I'd like to stay.. cos this life is worth living for.. And I'm sorry I seem to forget that most of the time..

I'm excited to get it on. I'm ready for life

Thinking.. *again*

God trully blessed me.. and I'm praying.. That all of us in this world becomes happy.. In that way.. everyone else will be surrounded by positive things. And them fears will just vanish gradually.. we just have to know who to turn to. Happiness comes from within.. and like a friend told me.. "You don't need to ask someone to make you happy.. God will provide them for you.. In His own good time.."

Haay..

I just remember.. I have a couple of statement shirts too.. One says "A day without laughter, is a day wasted." Call me crazy.. but I'm finding every reason to be happy. I miss this.. Looking out of my window..

Life surely is beautiful.. and the best things in it is free.. You just have to know where to get them..

to be continued..

for sure

=)